The material presented
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My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community so I tried to invite a few senior stragglers over, but they had other prior plans which is great, that is why I love living here we take care of each other.
Last year I cooked a big Thanksgiving meal the day after and had my girls and a couple friends over and had a great time. I was reading about starting new traditions and I think I already did. It is hard at times being so far away from my family and being near my exAH's, but I think it's good for my girls and that sits well with me. I have made peace within myself and my time alone for now and am even grateful for the down time, especially since my 3 year old is a very busy girl, yes I miss her when she is gone (she is my baby) and my 13 year old is usually in her room or at basketball, youth group, guitar, or band anyway. I guess I am at my all time best as far as acceptance, I don't even want a man this year to cook for (huge step).
I used to be a very unchanging traditional person and this tells me how much I have grown that I am not even sitting on the pity pot this year at all about being alone and even looking forward to a relaxing afternoon, hardly any work or school this week. I love to cook and will whip up a feast the following day then the girls and I will have leftovers and turkey soup and turkey casserole like every year. I am grateful for so many people here at MIP and in my Al-anon face to face meetings and to my wise ol sponsor! Thanks All for your support on my journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
It's such a pleasure to read your posts and see how you are progressing. Your posts usually make me smile.
I'm happy for you that you are so accepting of the way things are and not drowning in the way you'd like things to be.
For the first time in my life (I'm 56) I spent Thanksgiving just with me last year. My dad and stepmom live 700 miles away. My mother and siblings don't like to get together. One son had to work at the hospital and the other one was with his wife and her family. And I live very close to all my ex-husband's relatives. I was invited over last year to their big family gathering. But I declined.
I enjoyed my alone time that day. I didn't wallow in self-pity. I think I read (I don't have TV). I'm glad I had that experience. It makes me realize that I don't need the traditional family gathering to be grateful.
This year is different. I'm back with the ex and having all his relatives over for a big dinner. Who would have thought this is possible a year ago? You just never know.
You're young, beautiful inside and out.... who knows what's around the corner for you. Lots of good stuff! I imagine.
Take good care and enjoy your alone time.
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Love your idea!! We are headed down to my AH's step mom's family. It will be a good time. I am going to cook a big dinner the next day and we will have a couple of family members in and out of the house during that time. It will be fun and I'm looking forward to enjoying quality time with my own set and I enjoy cooking a big dinner.
I really believe that it doesn't matter who you are with on any holiday regardless of what it is, it's more important to love the company you are with even if it's just yourself. There are wonderful things that can be done and enjoyed during that time and any time is of value as long as we choose to make it so.
Next year I want the family to volunteer at the homeless shelter or serve dinner to the elderly something that will show the kids how much we have to be grateful for, sometimes it's good to shake things up a bit and put it all in perspective. Thank you so very much for this share it's so important to remember we make our own way and our own traditions. :)
Hugs p :)
-- Edited by Pushka on Monday 21st of November 2011 09:46:35 PM
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
There is something to be said for the peace of being able to do the holiday YOUR way. I think we are so over-flooded with happy holiday families in movies when the truth is, the holidays are not happy or peaceful for a lot of people. Being able to find a way to celebrate it that pleases you, brings you peace and contentment is truly one of God's greatest gifts. It isn't the day, its the sentiment - Happy Thanksgiving!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
BF - You actually have a freedom this Thanksgiving like never before. My first Thankgsiving that I was in recovery, my network was kind of small...I think I had just under 60 days sober at that time. Not only that, but I was also just 60 days shy of breaking up with my Alanon qualifier. At the local club house they did have thanksgiving events and that totally saved me that year. I went to the clubhouse and felt part of something. I bounced in and out of meetings all day and did service. There were people with 2 days sober....there were people struggling way more than me.
I know this is alanon and not AA, but not sure if there is an Alano club you might go to on T-Day. Not saying your ideas are bad...They are good...Just food for thought.
