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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Today I am Thankful...
Post Info TOPIC: Today I am Thankful...
Jozie


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Today I am Thankful...
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As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So Tho I Miss him Dearly, and didn't know how my Life would be without him... I know that I am Goin to be OK, Because I know he has his Wings, and he is With me Now Everyday, and when he was "Here" on earth, he did not have that ability...

Also, this Month, I Lost My Mother In Law Last Week... And i have to tell you a Piece of Me Left with Her, She Taught me so Much about Cooking, and Flowers, and how no Matter what you put your mind too, it can be done... I know I am Not Anywhere Near being done Crying for her, I miss already those Phone calls from her Weekly, and going to her Home to Sit and Just Chat in the evennings... She was Fiesty.. but She was Always Kind to me, even when she didn't have to be... She took me in and Loved me as I am, and that alone is not easy for most... She was a 2nd Mom to me for the last 16 years & I Will be Ever Grateful for the Love that she shared with me...

I do have to say, Even tho These Last couple months have been brutal having to see her go thru such pain, she did what she always did, and Opened Doors that I assumed were Closed forever... I can't say that All is Happy and Free, and that everything is as it should be, but the baby steps are in place thanks to her, and only God can lead us to the next step...

I had Often Prayed that I Find something .. Anything that would make this month just be something to celebrate instead of something to mourn... And when I Lost my MIL, I automatically jumped on my Martyr bus, and went back to "Why Me? Why Us? Why More Greif?" but thanks to the love & support that i have Recieved from my Al-Anon family (Here & at Home) , & My Family & My Husbands Family, I know that God has a Plan for Us All...Not My Plan always but A Plan None the less...

On the 11th of this Month, I did Recieve something worth celebrating...I Got to bare witness to the birth of My 1st Great Nephew..He Came in to this world just when I needed him, and tho he was a Little Earlier then I was prepared for, he came in Healthy, Handsome, and thanks to recovery of BOTH his Parents... He Came here Drug Free... Something I never thought would happen for them, and God lead them to it... Miricle....

I think too often in this disease, I Want answers, I want to know WHY? and tho I have only been here 3 short years, I know that HP did what was ask of him and then some...I have learned that the More I Keep hold of the Tools that are Here for ALL of Us to Use and Cherish, I Can Find Peace.. I Can Find Acceptance, I Can accept Love, I Am Worthy of a Better Life, even if others do not agree...

I know that tho today is a Day I wish i was Sitting across the table from my Daddy-0, and we were bickering about this or that, (which is what we always did for his birthday.. I took him to dinner) I have Accepted that he too is now renewed from his Illness, He too Can still look in on me from time to time, and I know when he is there...

I Never thought that when I Joined Al-Anon, that it was more for me about My Spiritual Side then my Personal Side... I Never would have thought that (At that time) The "God" of My Understanding was not my God at All... but Thanks to Al-Anon, I have def. found my Contact with my HP, and Now the God of My Understanding accepts me In Love, and not out of My Fear... Because the God of my Understanding as a Child said to me: "If you are Good, U Come to me, If you are Bad, You go to Hell" now i know, regardless of my Wrong or Right doing, for me its more about the process I take everyday to make my life, a Happier, Healthier, Place that i can be Loved...&  in return then share that love with others ...

Last night i sat thru 3+ hours of a banquet with my Son for his Soccer team, and My Husband sat and moped about the time, and I just smiled at him... I know he has had a long week, but HP showed me that those moments I need to Cherish, because someday, My "Mom" Banquets will be over, and I will have to complain about something else :0) Or Accept it for what it is, a part of Growing, a Part of Loving, and a Huge part of Living...

So... For Novemeber this Year I am Thankful for:

My Fathers Birth today that Allowed me to be here

My Grandfathers Birth this Month that allowed My Afather to be Here

My Newest addition my Great Nephew Rixson who has brought Light back into my Month

For the Love & Support that showed up when My MIL Took Sick

For the Cherished Moments I got with Famiy & Friends, & Out of Town Neices & Nephews

I am Thankful for the Roof Over my Head, the Food in my Belly, and the fact that currently my family that is here; is healthy

I am Thankful to have a job to go to every morning, and so far even a pay check every week..

I am thank for my/my husbands family that has been supporting, and even Humbled me from time to time...

I'm Thankful for On-Line Program Family, and the love & connections I am blessed to have with so many here...

So You See... Tho I Have not Embraced this month in years.. This year I am Breaking Tradition, I am Getting ALL 4 of my Grandkids Thanksgiving night, and we are going to make NEW Traditions... Ones that bring Happiness & Forgiveness, and Ones that can be Carried on and Celebrated for years to come...

Sometimes its tough for me to swallow my Pride/Ego, and accept life on lifes terms, but i'm thinking I'm back at that cross roads that says. Sh$t or get off the Pot ... I have been Humbled beyond Belief, I have been Blessed beyond belief, but Mainly, I have been Loved Beyond anything I ever thought Possible... & I Am Forever Grateful for it all ...

 

Much love, Hugs & Prayers to all & Always

Jozie



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Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D
hotrod


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Jozie wrote:

...

...

 

 

 I have been Humbled beyond Belief, I have been Blessed beyond belief, but Mainly, I have been Loved Beyond anything I ever thought Possible... & I Am Forever Grateful for it all ...

 

:

Jozie

 Dear Jozie

What a powerful message and so very appropriate for Thanksgiving week  Your depth, clarity  and understanding truly touched my spirit.

I too had aa God of "fear and loved how you expressed that thanks to alanon you now have a "God f my understanding who accepts me in love and not in my fear".  That was powerful and my experience as well.

I love that you will be settingup NEW treaditions for the season and are oepne enough to acccept that life is ever chanigng and it is up to us to cherish the moment

Thanks for shaing your heart.



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
tommyecat


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Jozie,

That is the best dawg gone gratitude post I have seen ever!  Even I - miles away from you can feel how grateful you are through the pain of grief and loss.  I sense that you realized these experiences as a whole have given you wisdom, peace, and serenity because you appreciate and focus on what you have.

Congratulations on starting a new Thanksgiving family tradition with your four grandkids.   I bet you guys are going to make memories that will last a lifetime.

xoxo,

T



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Breakingfree


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I love your post and your gratitude list even in the midst of hardships! When I first came on here almost a year ago I used to think when I saw that you posted it would be this big long happy positive thing again. Now that I know the program and have heard more of your struggles, I look forward to reading about your growth and seeing how you are doing. You are a great inspiration to me of how this recovery process works. Thanks I needed this. Sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Pushka


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Hugs Jozie,

I ditto what others have shared. You are a great inspiration to keep coming back and keep working the program because it does work.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
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