"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

looking_for_peace · Veteran Member

Thank you

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Looking for peace,

I am so glad you found courage to share here with us. I hope you will continue to do.

Although I do not have experience in grief work, my sponsor shared with me how helpful it was when she attended a 12 step grief program to help her move through the grief with the deaths of her husband and daughter.

Thank you for posting today. Please keep coming back. It is always good to see you on the board.

In support,

Tommye

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs,

From what I have witnessed everyone processes grief differently, it is like any other emotion it has to be dealt with and not stuffed and/or ignored. Under the most unique circumstances it's all normal as there is no one way to process this difficult emotion. There are stages as there is to any loss. I again encourage you to find support, through what was mentioned above, group counseling or private. I am so glad you are hear sharing your story and sharing what you are doing to process through this difficult time.

Hugs p :)

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm so glad to learn that you gleaned some comfort from this board.

Another source to help the griefing process is Hospice. I learned that Hospice provides grief counseling (individual and group) to anyone experiencing the loss of a loved one regardless if the loved one was under Hospice care or not.

We contacted Hospice 3 hours before my mother's passing this summer. We did not know her end was so near. It was then that we learned that this agency provides grief counseling and there's no charge.

I urge you and his loved ones to get grief counseling if there is a need. Again, my mother carried around guilt for nearly half her life. She carried it in silence all that time up until she disclosed to me her feelings near the end of her life. It explained a lot of her actions. No good comes from guilt.

Your husband obviously had more pain than he could handle. Like my step-father who ended his life, your husband would not want you to live with guilt. He would want you to live life to the fulliest and remember the good times you had with him.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Sweet heart grieving comes out how it does. Please know there are some weird thoughts. ya lose your balance!

I threw away all my cook books! ??

I saw things, changes in mine that I held inside. i finally asked if my friends would let me tell them.

Its hard on ALL of you! My mother was so so sad to lose Ed. She loved him as her own son. His family was in La.

You just gotta go easy on each other and yourself. Its like you heart is torn out of you. In many ways it is. Broken hearts can kill people. Take it seriously! Don't put up with any bs. ignore.

sending you a ton of hugs. hey I remember walking down the street with my pig Rosalee and I was in this horrible but thankful fog. I thought how love is the only thing that can make ya feel better. Its ok to share with strangers if they ask if you are ok. People want to help.

No one is a stranger when you have a broken heart and share it.

hugs honey,debilyn

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

So very sorry to hear of your husband's suicide.... that is an awful and traumatic thing, for those left behind - with or without addictions..... Let's hope he is finally at peace now.

Thank-you for your courage and strength in coming here and writing about it.... As for the guilt related issues - one of my very favorite sayings, and I think it is very applicable to you and your circumstances, is that you truly "did the best you could with what you knew at the time"....

I wish you well, and hope you keep coming back

Tom

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"