The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ABf had a slip on the 22 sep afetr 9 month sober in AA and rehab. He broke boundary went missing in party with other girls I ended it was fll of resentment. I am past the resentment now thanks to al anon but when the resentment passes and i remember he is sick its not personal that is when the pain hits and the grief. I have been doing the right stuff meetings, reading and talking to hp all the time.
Today I had to text him after over two weeks with no contact as I am moving home and he needs to collect stuff from the garage. He was very withdrawn I was trying to be friendly because resentment has gone. He said he needed to fous onself no one in his life to take him away from him.
I was hormonal said I understood and wished him luck. Then I did it I rang and said I had miss understood the text . Communication opened up I told him how much I was missing him and he said he thinks of me constantly but is fighting for his life. I felt better after the conversation he is not being selfish just throwing me aside he is really trying to get well. I have been asked on a date by someone who could give me lots of material stuff. I am not going I miss my ABf so much. I told him I knew we could not have contact we have tried it all weekly contact just phone calls etc etc it always ends same way our focus slips or he slips and hurts me. I am trying to get well and hand it all over but I miss him so much even more so when I know how hard he is trying but it is his struggle and I have mine. The thought of never having him my life kills me but we both want a hea;lthy relationship or none. I will just have to remember Hp knows best what ever happens will be right for us both its hard though .
You are working a strong program. Take some time to heal and just be with you and be you.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Sounds like you are working the program. I rebounded for someone I thought was so different right away and found someone sick in different ways, so now I stay alone and focus on myself. Have you read Codependent No More and Getting Them Sober? 2 Great books that kept me on point. Sending you love and support!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hi Tracy, I very much feel for what you are going through. My AH is in very early sobriety now, still very messed up, and after 4 months of separation and no contact for a week I am feeling very low about all this and deeply miss the life I hoped we would have. Handing things over to your HP, while hard, is the best thing to do and it sounds like you are doing that. Things often tend to work themselves out, it just takes patience. Sending you support.
having the book Getting them Sober helped me to detach. The ex A never wanted to get sober for a moment. He went through the motions years before I met him. His disease was that it was everyone else's fault he was where he was.
