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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Just for Today...
Post Info TOPIC: Just for Today...
amills4294


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Just for Today...
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Today I will focus on what's best for me and what's best for my daughter.  That includes my responsibilities at work so that I can pay the bills and keep the nice warm roof over our head, the food on the table, the clothes we wear and the joy and sorrows we share.  Today I will attend to the emotional needs of myself and those of my child.  We have been through a tough year and I have the power to minimize some of the roller coaster ride she has been experiencing.  I can only hope her father will do the same.   She has shown us in the past day or so how sad she is.  What she wants ultimately, will not provide the healthiest environment in the long run so it is my job as her mom to listen to her, to comfort her and to provide guidance to her so that she may start to process all that is going on and she can heal.  We've lived in limbo too long and I can only imagine from her eyes how unsettling that must be.  I know what environment allows me to be the best parent I can be and I know what environment challenges me.  What' s most important to me is that I be the best parent I can be and I allow myself to heal too.

I love my girl.  She is the sparkle in my life.

 



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Pushka


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Hugs Amills,

Sending you love and support,

Hugs p :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
canadianguy


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Yep....  when I went through this similar thing, my two were quite young (5 & 3), and all I learned the most important lesson - all I could really reassure them of, over and over, is that they are "loved and safe"....  I couldn't speak for their Mother (my A-Wife at the time), but I reassured them constantly, that they are "loved and safe"....

Take care

Tom



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tommyecat


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Tom, loved what you shared. 

What really helped me was that just for today card when I was just clinging by my fingertips to sanity.  When I would focus on what I could do just in this one day, hour by hour, minute, by minute, I was able to keep moving forward.  That is what you are doing.  Keep it up, one day at a time.

Good share!

T



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amills4294


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Thank you both, Tom - that is what I am doing as well. I tell her no matter what she is loved by both me and her father and we will keep her safe.

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Breakingfree


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My 13 year old thanks me for not going back to her dad, which is what I did everytime he left us for most of her life. I am off the roller coaster and to tell you the truth sometimes the boredom is so very boring, haha! But it sure beats the drama and constant adrenaline rush, emotional plunges and fighting. Keep your chin up, I already hear you growing!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

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Debilyn


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Geez your share brought tears to me. You just reminded me when my parents split up! I was very small. second grade I think. When she told us Daddy moved out, my brother took off running down the road!.

I remember instantly feeling  new feelings, fear,lost,insecure. We moved into this tiny house. Just did not feel right.

I just wanted daddy. Then our VERY loved Boxer dog,Lady got out and we were so afraid. She came back, I opened the door and her eye was hanging out. I ran and jumped on top of the heater, mother called Daddy and i remember being in his arms. Lady lost her eye.But lived to be our joy for many years. Mother and Daddy got back together. (he had cheated)

I am sharing this becuz YOUR strength will be what makes her feel the best. My mother was quiet. I felt alone. Your being with her, sitting reading to her, going for ice cream, playing with her,movies,laughing. hugging. Letting her talk and telling you her fears or just yakking will make ALL the difference

Your taking care of you also will help her and you. Counseling always helped to guide me thru the hard stuff. When my husband died and my kids were 4 and 5, I went to a womens group. Helped me so much.

I am glad you came to update. I sure hope you keep coming. I have not been around my A for years now.But just last night dreamed about him again. And here I am.

hugs, love,debilyn



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Jackie11


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I wonder if you like to plan things out like I do? If so then you also like to know how things are going to go. I'm learning to take all this just one step at a time. If I try to look past the day I tend to be overwhelmed. If I focus on the moment then I can see the good stuff. Like you said your daughter is your sparkle, that's the good stuff.

I've had ugly things said about me, they were mad that I had dumped them. So they lashed out at me. I know that those kind of comments leave you questioning you, don't let them. Know that God/HP sees you as wonderful just the way you are. He's also giving you wisdom and courage for this chapter.

This is not easy, not fun, not where you thought you would be, but there will be wonderful moments and times as you move forward!!! They become that much more appreciated because of how much the right now hurts.

Thinking of you, sending hugs and support!!!!



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