The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Was able to (again) attend my weekly homegroup meeting yesterday. It takes place over the lunch hour, and is not located near my work, but near home. Trying to work up the courage to ask my boss if I can work from home on Monday afternoons. Not sure how to pitch it - as a support group? I don't feel comfortable stating specifics.
It was great to go! I so want to grow and be a healthier person. I am again recognizing pockets of health around me, and missing them in my life. I realized recently that I had to set aside the healthy aspects of who I was, in order to enter my marriage. Trying to forgive myself.
Please pray for me, that I'll know what to do about my 8pm meeting tonight. Always tough to get to. And, I have a funeral to attend tomorrow - An uncle (by marriage) who died from the effects of alcoholism. Very sad.
The weekends are difficult. My husband gets very down and VERY cranky with me, because he is still unemployed and feeling bad about himself. Then the weekend becomes his time to nitpick about what "should" be getting done in order to be productive, etc. He complains that we don't go anywhere/do anything (it's tough with an 18 month old), and yet doesn't really have fun when we do go. His presence can drag down a pleasant afternoon in an instant. He's snappy and rude with me. It makes me want to leave with my daughter and not come back for 2 days.
My AH has been laid off for a year and a half. I am trying to put my faith in my HP, and in this process. Perhaps any job he would get he'd not be able to handle right now? Is it not the right time? I so wish it were. I wish God would land him a fantastic job, and for it to be the right time now. :)
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"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."
Hang in there! Great job for moving forward with working on you. I too have a husband that can be irritable and snippy and down right unpleasant at times. It is difficult. Praying for you!
Hi Klotus, does your boss know anything about your situation at home? You might be surprised to find out he/she suspects something and would want to help - our hidden life isn't as hidden as we think it is. Don't know what your relationship with boss is.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
He is very new to recovery. All things in God's time. Even if he were to "land a fantastic job," has he worked the AA program enough to handle the new stress?
You have my prayers my friend. When I really need to get to a meeting and cannot foresee how it is possible, I say a prayer and put it into my HP's hands. If I am meant to get to that meeting, there is no obstacle that I need to overcome as He'll get me there.
I do so hope you can make your 8 PM meeting tonight. Thinking of you!
Is your doctor aware of the situation? If he/she is, would they be willing to endorse attendence as being beneficial? Do you have someone you could call a counselor? Official or even non-official? You could then, in clear conscious say that your doctor/counselor has recommended you attend a weekly support group and would appreciate working from home on Mondays in order to do this. Your boss should be smart enough not to ask questions and, I would think, in most cases just say yes. If your boss presses, see if your doctor could write a recommendation for a support group, but note that the specific group description is restricted due to confidentiality concerns.
I work with a great bunch of people, including my current boss, but don't share things like this down to this detail. I did once briefly, two bosses ago, when I was going through a very difficult time and it was affecting my work and she made it clear that it was an over share and didn't want to hear of it again (she did provide me the obligatory pamphlets). In that case, I wish I had been less specific and more generic and let her read between the lines as she saw fit. (And after I worked for her longer, I found that I not only did not respect her, I didn't trust her, so now I wonder what that revelation did to my reputation with the other area managers, as skillfully delivered by her silver tongue.)
I hope you make the meeting tonight they do make a big difference!! Keep up the good work and continue doing what you need to do.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I know how you feel. My husband was also unemployed (and therefore miserable and depressed with low self-esteem) and out of NOWHERE did get an amazing job. I mean--he literally had none of the qualifications and I always looked at it as a gift from God. Since then, he has gotten a DWI but (another miracle) his boss was understanding. I agree with the post above that maybe explaining the situation would might open the door for you to work at home so you could go that day. This disease impacts SO many people. It is hard to imagine anyone on planet earth not touched by it somehow. Good luck.
I always said (when I was going to 4 meetings/week) that $16/month got me the most amazing therapy and did way MORE for me than the few counseling sessions I went to.
I was just wondering in what way is he allowing 'god' to send him the job? What does he do to be in the right place at the right time for god to do his/her work? I am not sure and may be right off the mark, but is he at home during the week waiting for the right job to come to him?
'god' helps those who help themselves..... and look, he may be, and I have missed that post so I actually am asking what he is doing, not being a smartypants.
I just have this image of his Hogwarts offer letter flying through the door like I see other people doing.
and did way MORE for me than the few counseling sessions I went to.