The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to this board having just found it this weekend. After 30 years of living with my husbands addition I am just now starting to get MY life back. For all those years of trying to control how he acted and what he did it has finally brought me to the point of "I just can't do it anymore"! There is so much water under the bridge but right now I am just trying to get peace and serenity. There has been no violence, no name calling, just the craziness of wondering what he is doing at this time in his life and me trying to run interference, cover it up and stop it. From alcohol, to pills, to huffing, to cough medicine, he has left quite a trail for me to try to fix. I finally went to Al-anon meetings and realized with the help of some fine folks and fine literature that it is not my problem to fix! Right now we are living separate (almost 1 month) and things are coming together for me. Slowly but peacefully. He is in recovery meetings but still using. I think he is trying to get me to believe that "this time" he is quitting. I am feeling that I am done with that life style and want my sanity restored so you can see I am at Step 2. At first it was hard to be alone but I am appreciating it now. I wanted to "check" on him to see if he went off the deep end or not. I have finally stopped doing that. He is living on the property behind mine so it was easy for me to do. I have set boundaries with him as far as the using goes for we are still friends. He cannot be in this house when he is using and I know all the signs so fooling me is a mute point. Pray for me to be strong in my HP and myself that I may arrive at the goal I so long for. Serenity. Sorry so long a post.
Welcome and keep coming back. You can find a lot of wonderful information here from others' experiences. And keep going to meetings, they are your path to serenity.
I am with you. Mine happened on Tuesday. He is gone. The last year I was no longer his enabler. I had his license taken away on a medical condition. I refused to cook for him or do his laundry.
He continued to drink and finally crossed the line. Mine was from 1985 to now. I remember the many lies he told about his drinking and how he tried to hide it.
Even told me it was all in my head. Today, I am at peace in my home; I really enjoy it.
I have been asked will you let him back home. Right now the answer is NO.
Even if he goes to his inpatient alcohol treatment centre, it will a long road before he will be allowed back in this house.
The alcoholic made me ill. How can anyone be healthy and live like that?
I have felt freedom now, and I am not in the least worried about the future.
Long post that is not. Welcome to the boards I hope you keep coming back and sharing.
In support, Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Welcome (((Pat))) So glad you found us, and I hope you keep coming back. It sounds like you are off to a great start in recovering YOU. I wish you continued success. I have found so much useful information and so many wonderful, insightful people on MIP, I hope the same holds true for you.
Keep us posted and wishing you peace in your new-found freedom!
Denise
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"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
