The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I want to thank all of you for sharing, I can relate to all of the stories. It is like reading my own journal if I had one. From the verbal abuse, which I like to call "Bullying", to the "I know you are cheating" when I am texting or on the phone "say hi to your boyfriend for me, to the resentment "If he loved us we would be important enough for him to stop the drinking"; I even change our plans at the last minute because I know there will be alcohol involved I just don't have the energy to deal with it that night or just not in the mood. I am already applying the advice given in these posts and it does seem to help when the situation arises.
I haven't been to any face to face meetings yet, I will though, I let him read the posts I already have just so he knows I am not doing anything behind his back. That I need this for me, us as a family. He seems to be more affectionate towards me when he is sober because I haven't made a fuss about him being drunk daily. I haven't set any boundaries for myself, I just accept that I am not going to get anywhere while he is drunk, just another fight that I am sure my boys are sick of hearing.
I do not like fighting so that is very positive for me, I have always wanted to talk things out, there is no need for fighting we are adults.
I just need to find answers to other parts of my life that are missing, I am hoping that is covered in the face to face meetings.
I give hugs to all that need, today is a good day for me. I take it one day at a time and hope each day is better than the last because I have that power to make it better. Don't get me wrong I am sure there will be a slip up by me, I do have bad days.
have a truly wonderful day
-- Edited by Lilbearz on Saturday 12th of November 2011 08:55:25 AM
You need what the Al-Anon program can offer, but more important you indicated you want what the program offers. My thoughts mirror Gail's, it's what worked for me.
You are a "Miracle In Progress".....continue your recovery....it only gets better. Your not alone in the disease anymore.
I am so glad you are getting so much from what is shared on the boards. Face to face meetings is where I find tremendous support, understanding and love. They are where I get the tools of the program and how to incorporate them into my daily life.
I find members at meetings to be inspirational, especially those who have worked the program awhile.
I listen to them and learn what they've done to liberate themselves from undesirable behaviors and they inspire me as well as help me realize that change is possible.
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Hello Liz and welcome , there is no reasoning with a practicing alcoholic promises they can't keep are very frustrating and confusing for those of us who love them . Meetings will give you the support you need to live in alcoholism . Get the focus back on you and your sons there is nothing you can do about him.. he will drink til he's done . period.
Meetings are really fantastic and they do propel the healing. I gave up the need to be right which was a big part of needing to talk for me. If I talked long enough and rationally enough of course he would see how right I was and do things my way!! Ummm .. not .. that so did not work for me. Knowing when to talk and when to be quiet, knowing my motives for saying something has gone a long way for a peaceful house and better communication.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hi and welcome, remember this program is for you to find serenity. I hope you keep coming back and make it to some face to face Al-anon meetings. I am sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Thank you so very much. This message board is really helping me realize the mistakes I have made, and they won't be made anymore. It has given me some peace in my life, I just let my AH be in his own world. I relax and keep busy with my own thing.
