The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have to vent, otherwise, I will go scream at a drunken fool...and I know that will serve no good purpose. He came home, I was on the phone with a classmate of mine talking about school....Apparantly, I was talking with my boyfriend, and my husband hopes it is love and that I will leave....He's in bed passed out now...This all happened within a span of five minutes. He came home, drunk of course, made a few accusations, and went to bed... It's like the tazmanian devil rollin through here... No logic to anything that was said. But, that's how they are. I know this, and I was very calm while speaking to him. Like I didn't care one bit, and part of me doesn't. I know the truth. He always makes the statement that HE made a huge mistake by marrying ME. That one always hurts me, but he did make a mistake because he is the one that chooses not to be here with his family. It wasn't me. I loved this man dearly. All of his anger gets directed at me. Tonight, I didn't play into his mind games...That's good for me. In the eyes of a drunk, I did many things wrong today...In my eyes, I spent the day with my son, and had a great time. He made his choices, and those aren't mine to praise or condemn. So, I am going to curl up next my son and go to sleep.....
Well Kim, for what it's worth..... sounds like "crazy town" came to your place, but you refused to buy a ticket to the show.... Good stuff, on your part
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I wanted to add that sometimes I find the day after an episode challenging. When that happens I try to remember to be extra gentle with myself. Easy does it, and I'm really sending you hugs and support.
You did a great job and it's like they need the "excuse" to act out even if there is no basis of fact. It can be hard to see crazy town in sight and make a conscious decision NOT to go there. Good job :)
Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Wow, I hope to be able to be at that point soon. My address was "crazy town" too but I am trying to change my side of the streed while my AH is trying to change his ( he is in residential treatment). He would do the same things, yell at me the same awful things, Iwould yell back, WHY did you marry me and i would get even worse comments, LOL what did I expect, I am dealing with pure evil from a bottle! SO with the help of al anon and these boards I am praying that I can really be the change I want in my life..and LEARN by the GRACE of GOD to let go of his drinking, etc...
Tom, thank you for phrasing it that way...Sounds much better....It means so much to know that others have walked in my shoes, and know how I am feeling. The hugs and support mean so very much. I am coming to terms with reality, but it's not easy. I am just trying to stay focused and pointed in the right direction. I never want to join him in crazy town again. His latest was a voicemail to me that I have been chuckling about all day....I had asked him if he would be able to take our son to the dentist, and didn't get a response, but later he left me a voicemail saying he isn't our childs father....That was out of left field to say the least...I didn''t call him back, I just sent him a link to a home DNA testing website...Whatever....
And YES, Dawn...It most certainly is pure evil from a bottle....Only mine isn't really pleasant when he is sober either....Letting go is so worth the effort it takes....I love all the wise folks here.....
