The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I think of it in terms of old tapes of old behaviors jumping in to a situation that I'm trying to do new behaviors.
Someone recently said to me that the "monkey's were loose" I had a good giggle with that one.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I think of it as when my old behaviors and thoughts creep in and I start thinking that checking up, getting into someone else's business, etc. are good ideas and somehow justified.
My committee also provides a lot of negative chatter about stuff related to self esteem and my value as a person ... where I start to think that if I don't look perfect or do my job perfectly, people won't like me or will talk negatively behind my back. Old tapes for sure.
When I get plenty of meetings and recovery for myself, the committee stays away for longer and longer periods of time and if it comes back, the voices are much softer and less persuasive. When I stop with meetings or recovery work, the committee gets progressively louder and shows up more often. I like the analogy, and it really fits what happens with me.
I agree with White Rabbit fully, when I slow down or cut back on my meetings the old voices and cycles in me take off and when I am still working my program diligently I can barely here any of it. It helps me be aware when I need to step up my recovery program. I am sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
It may also be referred to as negative voices in my head....and no, not literally. I like to call it the Sh*tty Committee" :) It is basically any voice in my head that says I am powerful over something I am not.
Also, it's the committee because it's multiple internalized voices, ideas, and opinions that I carry around with me. They talk to each other and they are all garbage.
Those voices are loud and they drown out the voice of my higher power if I let them.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Wednesday 9th of November 2011 01:22:21 PM
Why are they there? I can understand early in recovery.. but if you have been in recovery for a while and have learned new ways of thinking... why do they come back? Does that mean that we aren't really 'changing' on a permanent basis.
Do any people on the planet NOT have to deal with a committee that is so destructive?
If everyone has one.... it begs the question .. are we supposed to have them???
In everyone they are there however I believe and it's just based upon my experience that people who have them and they are the loudest have had to deal with severe dysfunction and what I do is my reactions to situations are based upon survival mode things. I don't need those everyday and when I did need them they served me well. I no longer live the life I grew up with and these are defunct thoughts/reactions now. I no longer need to just survive I would rather live.
We didn't get here over night and it's not a one fit all answer. Everyone has different levels of dysfunction, different levels of what pains them. How much pain they can tolerate and what their emotional bottom is where the pain outweighs the pay off. How long they have been in the dysfunction and how long they have practiced survival mode mental reflexes.
So yes, they will keep coming back (especially at the beginning of recovery) which is why we say at the alanon meetings keep coming back because for whatever reason it pushes the committee to the back of the mind instead of being up front. The more people come back the longer the committee stays to the back and they just start to have less power in my choices.
Great topic this is fun to read all of the different answers.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
If you ask me, I think they are voices from out parents largely and others from society...just people who have influenced us in either good or bad ways. Some of those influences we carry with us forever even though we have spent time in therapy and in the program... I will always carry a critical mom voice in my head and I have to respond to it rationally and with love towards myself. At least it is not one of the predominant voices any more.
I think the whole "committee" thing is a way to describe basic neurosis that most folks can identify with. There would be others that are cocky or self-centered to the degree that they might not identify and there might be some that have trancended so far that they have totally tamed those neurotic thoughts/voices.
I do believe that the "committee" is one of the many symptoms of the "Disease of Alcoholism" and replacing these negative voices are accomplished by working the stops, sharing, gratitude list, assets list and meetings etc.
My committee no longer inhabits my brain but at any given moment I can choose to pull in the voices again and go off to the races with anger, self pity, fear and resentments. There is a . Chinese proverb in other C2C states "The birds of fear and worry will always circle over head, just do not allow them to build a nest in your hair
They no longer have a stronghold in my head and for that I am forever grateful
