The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My Ex-"A" is the source of my frustration, but more than that, the lack of resources to protect the community at large from him and including my grandchildren from being in his prescence when he owns a firearm with ammo and gets it out to shoot immaginary predators due to his dillusions etc. He is unable to transfer well, he is an amputee. He is ineberated all the time, in the full throttle of addiction and alcoholism. He drives, to get to his source and often cannot get him self in or out of the vehicle. He has been witnessed by my sons driving eratically during rush hour and stopped completely in the center of the intersection with cars honking and him oblivious..they thought he was out. I would have called the police in a heart beat. His kids didn't. He's been pulled over for his driving while on drug seeking missions and rescused once again (by his kids who have never known him sober unfortunately). He is expected to be found dead in his home one of these days by them. He falls regularly, was caught b/t the bathtub and toilet for over an hour and half a few weeks ago. I finally got up the gumption to call APS, he IS a danger to himself and others. They see the "choice" of addiciton as not a danger to oneself. He has dementia, I am certain it is wet brain.
I'd like to take his pic, the pic of his vehicle and plate number and start a website of who to avoid while driving.
I treated for cancer, he's been asking ME for drugs! Sad to say, we are certain "they", he and or spouse got them. Over 80 oxycodone I had forgotten about. I was so frightened of them I didn't take them. My hubs heart them rummagin in our bathrooms....I totally forgot about them. Until I was looking for something and clink clink, Oh! What is this?
NOT trying to rescue him, am trying to protect the innocents b/c he IS a danger. I'd be required to report him legally in my profession witnessing what I know. What the blazes!!! Makes me sick. Lord help us all with this lose cannon.
On a brighter note, I've applied for my nursing license in another state, my home state that I love. I'm so ready to get away from all of this crapola. It NEVER ends, my sons do not take care of themselves and are full blown ACOA's making it (not so well) on their own. One calls a spade a spade with his Dad. Another, disappears from it all together. The other, he is the caregiver and lets Dad guilt him all the time.
I can only say what works for me...surrendering to the first step. I am powerless over alcohol and drugs. I am powerless over what other people do. I can't make anyone stop doing it. I can only set boundaries for me and stick to them. I read the AA big book, Alanon's One Day at a time and Courage to Change and As We Understood. I am not sure what to say because I was never where you are, but you have to do whats in your best interest. Taking care of you, putting the focus on you and working the steps for you can only help the situation. Each day is a new day to cherish and live in. Take care, HUGS
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Not EVEN trying to MAKE him stop using...Not at all! Have at it!!! I am concerned that this mentally ill man rants with a gun and DRIVES if you can call it that to get his next fix. This thing he drives for his next fix, is a WEAPON aimed at unknowing and innocnet people. Kind of like sending a scud missle off with no purpose. He tried to run neighbors garage door down b/c it wouldn't open, well...it won't when its not yours.
MADD efforts are in Vain when it comes to people like him. God help the innocent in his path. I suppose in this case, instead of directing me to my powerlessness, I would ask for prayer, a prayer of protection for those unfortunate to cross his path since his entitlement to drive when he can't process a complex problem, let alone knowing where he is supercedes those who are prudent in their behaviours and in protecting their families. I do have power in prayer, and ask those who lean into that to join in my efforts for the safety of the innocents as well. Him, se la. He's made his choices.
I LOVE each and Every day!!!! I am celebrating my birthday soon.... I fight to live and enjoy every day that I am Blessed with!!! Yes indeed! What shall I do with this gift of today?! I beat cancer, twice. You better believe I celebrate the day! Then, there are those who try to die...while I fight to live and ensure my longevity for however long that may be.
Enjoy the Journey.
Still, frustrated by a lack of resources to protect the innocent.
A while back, my family disabled my grandma's car to keep her from driving! I think she had lost her license for duis already at that point and was a danger to herself and others. I guess it worked for a while. No easy answers to these problems! Thanks for sharing. Hope you can stay strong and take good care of yourself.
