The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
First court date today to divorce my AH. He will only go for half my retirement, he says, and he will not ask me for alimony as long as I don't ask him for any child support. Wow. He hasn't worked in well over a year because of drinking and pain pills...I'm struggling to keep oil in the tank and food on the table..he continues to blame me for his lousy lot in life.
Nasty separation (1 year ago), bankruptcy, and now divorce..and I'm trying so hard to keep it together at work -- so many demands, and a coworker who loves to point out the 1 or 2 things that I have missed (despite having done 200 things right)...so hard to concentrate...
I'm feeling scared, alone, and sick of being on the wrong end of the stick. Need some support and validation that i'm not a loser.
You are here looking for help, to me that shows you are not a loser! It sounds to me like you have an awful lot on your plate, both in your personal and work life. But it also sounds like you're doing all you can to get yourself in a better place. Losers don't do that! Best of luck today, I'll be thinking of you and hoping all goes well. You may be scared, but you really aren't alone.
Denise
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"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
I am here for you in love and support through this trying time. Think about taking this day one second at a time, one minute at a time. Please keep in mind, THIS TOO SHALL PASS - which is one of our Alanon slogans.
You are NOT a loser. You are taking care of you. It will get better. Keep coming back. I have some similar struggles. Hang in there and look forward...not back.
Easy does it be gentle on yourself. I hope you are doing something to take care of you. Something I have found that works wonders for me is doing a quick gratitude list when things feel the darkest in the day, 5 things to think of when things don't feel like they are the greatest.
Sending love and support, no one on this board is a looser,
Hugs P :)
PS - I also wanted to point out what would you say to your bff if they called you telling they felt this way and what was going on with them? Sometimes it's best to take a look at the situation and say gee, why am I being so hard on myself. I would never tell someone else that.
-- Edited by Pushka on Tuesday 8th of November 2011 09:51:28 AM
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
You are more than a winner, survivor and worthy! Fight for yourself and keep up the great job you do. When I went through my divorce I didn't really fight until the end and I was so glad I finally stood up and felt like I didn't have to give him anymore of myself or hard work! I don't hate him at all, but got tired of being mistreated and expected to keep giving too much of myself. I have been following your shares and it sounds like you are working a good program. Keep your head up and know that you have the support of many here at MIP! I am sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
You're anything but a loser - you're going through a very difficult period on all fronts and handling it with a lot of strength. Please try to be easy on yourself - this will pass and things will get better. Sending you esh!
Rehprof, Let's look at the facts. You are the capable one. You are the one with the job and the means. You know you are not a loser here. When you start thinking you are a loser, that is when you stop holding your head up high and people like your ex and your coworker take advantage of you. For now, just try telling yourself that you cannot afford to think of yourself that way (plus it is just not accurrate).
*I know this post is all therapisty sounding. Sorry for going there but often times in recovery, we come to see that our worst enemy is really ourself. As they say, "get out of your own way." It sounds like you have some challenges on your plate and have negotiated some major stressors really well....You can chose to be positive and to love yourself. When you do that, others will jump on board as well.
