The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I thought he was doing so well. About a month ago AB hit rock bottom - no need for the details except to say it was bad. He started counselling and started AA. I thought he was doing well. Well, over the weekend I could smell it on him and his behavior confirmed it - not the drunken behavior but the trying to hide it behavior. Like others that are here, he is also on anti-depressants and other meds. As I type this he is headed out of town for 6 weeks of intense training for his job - if he doesn't complete the training this time he could possibly lose his job. I decided not to confront him on it - if I had he would have gone downhill and it would have had a negative effect on his training. If he doesn't get through this training he faces the possibility of losing his job - I don't want that for him.
On a more positive note, I have started counselling for me and it's going well I think. I am reading Co-dependent No More and Wherever You Go, There You Are and feel like I am getting so much out them. My counsellor is great! Although it seems like stuff I know, I feel like I'm becoming aware for the first time in years!
I know I have some decisions to make in the coming weeks.
I am so glad to hear that you are taking care of you. You will feel like you have a friend for you by taking on a councelor. Try to get some extra alanon meetings in for the near future. The support will help you through this difficult time. Do something nice for yourself...you deserve it. I'll say a prayer that your HP will help you through.
Between counseling and having a sponsor guide me, my life has been so much better. I am glad you are practicing self care! I am sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Not Alone......I like your name.....the reason....because your not alone.
As we say in the Al-Anon program, he is going to do what he is going to do, what is important is what you are going to do. Today you decided to not confront him drinking, good for you on not reacting. You have a counseller, your reading informative books that will be of great help to you, and your coming to MIP, sharing with other members who understand what you are going through. MY experience, strength, and hope, to you would be to use the next six weeks to get involved in the Al-Anon program by attending face to face meetings in your area. The meetings last one hour where you will be around other members of kindred spirit who have walked in your shoes and will share with you their ES&H......what has worked for them. Do it for yourself, you deserve the help and support this program can offer. Not Alone, your not alone anymore....You found a new family here at MIP, you will find another new caring and understanding family in the rooms of Al-Anon...... Start your recovery.
So glad you have started a journey of recovery. Keep coming back and keep posting.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I am so glad you are taking care of yourself and talking this issue out with a counselor. You have some good books there to start with. As RLC suggested going to face to face meetings really helped me tremendously. I never imagined I would still be attending meetings today when I was new. But I keep learning, growing, and I like the way my life continues to evolve with the support and tools of the alanon program.
I can relate to the dissapointment when they have a slip but tht is thei journey you seem to be getting more focused on yours the only one you have control of. My ABF has been in AA for two and half years and done some intense rehab. We are seperated at moment working on ourselves. If your partner messing up his job this may just be tyhe wake up call he needs to take recovery serious. I no loger rescue my partner I let him make his own choices today and face the consequences of them. I am trying to make healthy choices for myself like you I am seeing a counsellor, reading and attending as many meetings as I can and I am starting to have more good than bad days. kep up the good work
sounds like those books are good and they might help you. i know what you mean about having your eyes opened to things- when i first started this al anon board- 20 years after my mum started getting sober- and stayed sober- i felt worse instead of better. it is like lancing a boil. but now i feel levelled out- you will too- we just have to weather through storms.
