For 4 years I lived around addicts and alcoholics and put a lot of boundaries in place.  I would say every day without fail the boundaries were tested on different levels.  At some points I dreaded going out the door.

Now for 2 weeks I am living in a non A environment.

Here is the difference:

1) No fear about going home to a crisis.

2) No noise (alcholics and addicts can be very noisy)

3) My new roommate has boundaries.  Since he has them I don't need to patrol mine in the same way. I had no idea how exhausting that was.  Good relationships begin with boundaries I had no idea that was the case!

4) No mess to clean up.  After 4 years I had stopped cleaning up the mess but it was still there and I had to navigate around it.  Now there is no mess to clean up that someone else left because they couldn't be bothered to do it.  I don't have to brace myself all the time....

5) No demands. Although I had a lot of boundaries, the demands on my time and energy were always there in some fashion or another.  There was always a crisis, resentment or issue every single day without fail.  Some of them I could detach from others I had to work through and that made an unpleasant task even more difficult.  I had a two week period where I had to move things from the storage cupboard I had in the house. Every time I went there was some issue without fail.  On that small level I had to deal with the alcoholism and addiction every time I stepped through the door.

Of course when I lived with the ex A for 7 years I was far more involved and conscious of the chaos.  I am producing an edited list there is a lot more in there..the fear of my stuff being stolen (a check was stolen and forged) being one of them.  I don't have to triple check my door anymore.

I put a lot of boundaries in place but still the alcoholics and addicts affected me every single day... in so many different ways.

Maresie.