New here and would like to hear how others handle keeping boundaries clear. The gist if my background is i come from a narcissistic mother and alcoholic father who quit after having paranoid delusions. My husband of 11 yrs and a decade younger than me lost his alcoholic dad as a child and was raised by a narcissistic mom at beat, possibly a sociopath. He smoked weed ehen we first got together and he sometimes toik xanax. Due to numerous injuries he started using pain pills and became addicted. He started taking my meds and when caught would deny it, trying with some occasion success to make me believe i was crazy or forgetful. We had a thriving business and despite the occasional binge he was sucessful. Then in 09 he injured hia head and acquired a mild brain injury and spinal pain. After that he was no longer using on occasion but went in ti high dosage use. That resulted in periodd of high and the come down of misery. He claimed to not geel normal and was frustrated by his loss if many life skills. He mentally and emotionally shut down. Though i know i enabled poor behavior prior to his accident, my sickness also increased. He was sometimes.child like, other time psychotic. He ni longer took a fee pills to feel good he consumed to the point of oblivion. He was erratic and sometimes scary. He became explosive and impossible to reason with.granted he eas always somewhat emotionally volatile and extreme, he now was iut if control. He was dangerous ro himself but despite having a dr.tell us he displayed paranoid psychosis they couldn't keep him. He decided to do the suboxine program and for a while seemed okay. Then he couldnt afford the treatment and instead of tapering properly, he was convinced he could stop. That didn't work as planned. He could not sleepp...for days. He said he neede xanax for sleep. He started buying some to take at night but he started taking so much he was not coherent. Clearly he was taking way too much and still couldn't sleep. After ni sleep his psychosis returned. The hospital wouldnt keep him and due to all the crazy talk, not sleeping causing me not to sleep (and i literally get sick without sleep), and being dangerous i sent him to his moms. He didn't stay long and came back slerping in his car. It was far below freezing and after not seeing crazy or drug behavior i let him in. Though the year if 2010 i had to send my kids to my parents on and off due to my husbands acting out. He'd get mad at me for doing so and claimed my parents were stealing his kids. Eventually he went for an extended period of seeming better but on occasion he would steal my meds ir buy suboxine off the streets. He started plaing video games incessantly and we went to marriage counseling. He seemed so insightful at our first meeting but as we progressed the therapist saw a touch of psychosis and urged him to go to the hospital. He agreed in her office but made excuses to delay going until a full week later. They wouldn't take him. He came back and could occasionally do so stuff around the house he more so played games. Due to his escalating pill stesls i bought a lock box and wrapped it in chains. He managed to get in it stesl pills and close it back. He did it without the key which i wore. I told him if he stole snd lied sgain he had to leave. He sd he understood. He did but this time sdmitted if his own will yhat he was weak and sick with himself for doing so. It hapoened agsin and again. I finally told him he had to leave and he did. He had promised our counselor he would do in patient rehab but he opted to just leave. I didnt want to talk to him for fear I'd let him come back. He called today to check on me and said he felt good away . He said when we're together i make him geel bad about himself and wants to use. I asked him about therapy for him and he still claims he doesnt need it. He sounds clear headed but sad. He wanted to know what my plans are and u can tell he wants to come back like beforr but i dont. How. To hold this boundary to keep his word. He wants to see kids for his birthday and apparently to one dsy get back together but he wont get help! Suggestions?