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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Dear Friends
Post Info TOPIC: Dear Friends
Ness


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear Friends
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My heart is sore. Our son passed away on Thursday. He is free of the torment and ravages of the disease..... for that I am grateful.

Thirty five years ago today was a day of joyous celebration when I delivered him into this world at 11am, a healthy 7lbs 6 ounces with a mop of blonde hair. He grew to be a gentle, considerate, artistic and musical boy and this never left him as he grew to adulthood.

Adulthood brought him many challenges and a wee drink here and there boosted his confidence. Neither he, nor we, could ever have imagined where that 'wee confidence booster' would take him.

Your love, experience, strength, hope, support and encouragement have sustained me over the last couple of years. I can say now that I am grateful for the night I hit rock bottom and 'googled' for help because MIP & the Al-anon programme came into my life and saved my sanity

Taking  it a minute at a time

RIP my beautiful boy

B.R.H  30/10/76 -27/10/11

Much love

Ness x



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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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((((Ness))))  I can only give back some of the support you have give me over our time here...that is all; along with the solid awareness you share also, that there is a Power Greater than myself who will console my mind, body, spirit and emotions during all periods of powerlessness.  I will include you and your family in my thoughts and prayers during the hours to come along with that of your son.  This will encourage me to continue the work toward recovery for others.

Feeling sad with you...(((((hugs))))) no



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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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Dear Ness

I am truly sorry for you terrible loss.  Your tribute to your beautiful, special child was so very loving and touched my heart.   iI feel as if I knew him, his strength, his struggle, his love.  .  My own son was 41 when this dreadful disease claimed his young life. 

I know they are both now free. 

You  and your family are  in my thoughts and prayers.  Please be so very gente with yourself.



-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 30th of October 2011 04:49:31 PM



-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 30th of October 2011 07:09:24 PM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
flopadopilus


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 662
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I am sending you love, support, courage, strength, prayer and well wishes for you and yours!!!!!

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God grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference. 

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
Pushka


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3870
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Dear Ness,

Hugs, I am so sorry for your loss, there are no words to express or bring comfort to loosing a child, no matter what age. Sending love and support during this time, what a wonderful program you are working, please take care of yourself. Know so many people are thinking of you and sending you lots of encouraging thoughts.

Hugs P

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Temple


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 971
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Dear Ness,
He must have looked like a cherub.
He was blessed to have you for his mother.
And I know you feel blessed to have had him for your son.
He is safe now.
Guard your heart.
With love and admiration,
Temple

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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread.  --Gray Charles

 
RLC


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1483
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(((Ness)))

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. You are in my thoughts and prayers. May HP be with you during this time of loss. Ness, hold on the the good times and memories of your son and always know your son was truly blessed to have a wonderful, caring Mom like yourself. You have been a inspiration to me and many others.

With Love and HUGS,
RLC

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pineapple


~*Service Worker*~

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(((Dear Ness))) I am so, so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I hope your good memories of him can sustain you during this time of sadness. And of course, your HP will be there with you too. At least he is finally at peace. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
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no Ness, how I wish I could hold you and let you cry, cook clean and help you.

My son was born in 76 too. You had your guy such a short time. I don't know that i could go on if I lost one of my babies.daughter born in 75.

I have shared so much time with you here at MIP. I treasure you. It's so horrible, a living nightmare to have a child who has the disease of addiction.

Am so sad  that you lost your dear son. this is when people won't know what to say. Sometimes telling them I just need a hug helps.

please ask for what you need ness. I mean like please come do my dishes or would you bring me some soup. Whatever. Ignore any bolony,they do not know better.

I will pray you will be able to nap and put one foot in front of the other. You may need company. People grieve in their own way. I needed someone there but never have wanted to talk.

If I can do something please tell me. I can call if you need whatever. But if you are like me you won't want to talk but need company. Maybe you could ask someone to read to you.

I cannot tell you how sad I am that you have this pain, and your dear son had such a hard time.  love, your friend,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Lindaoakford


~*Service Worker*~

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Your son is with you in spirit, he now understands everything and can see everything, he is light and sunshine, he is the lining on that cloud you see on an overcast day, he is the beautiful fragrance of your favourite flower. 

He is enlightened and you are blessed to have given him life on earth with us.  I am sorry you are feeling pain and my heart goes out to you.

 



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Linda - a work in progress
White Rabbit


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 895
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Ness, I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart just breaks for you, and for all of the parents who have lost children to this terrible disease. Many prayers during this time, friend.

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* White Rabbit *

I can't fix my broken mind with my broken mind.
nal


Senior Member

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Posts: 136
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((Ness)),

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Nancy



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nal
never going back


Senior Member

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Posts: 171
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(((Ness)))
So very sorry for your loss. You are such an inspiration tp me and my heart breaks for you today. May you find peace.

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"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
amills4294


Senior Member

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Posts: 247
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Ness - I am so very sorry! My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope he now is at peace and you too will find some. Thank you for sharing

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canadianguy


~*Service Worker*~

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Very sorry for your loss Ness, and another tragic example of the severity of this disease.....  I hope and pray that he is now at peace.

Hugs

Tom



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
rara avis


Senior Member

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Posts: 200
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So sorry for your loss. Sending support and prayers and blessings for you and your family.

hugs
rara avis

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likemyheart


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear Ness, I just finished carving pumpkins with my youngest and your post, your loss brings such emotion to me - I'm so sorry.

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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
GailMichelle


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear Ness,

I'm very sorry for your loss.



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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
Jennifer


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1382
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((Ness))

I am very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jen

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tommyecat


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1594
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{{{{{{{{{NESS}}}}}}}}}

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved son.  I will hold you and your family in my prayers. 

With deepest sympathy,

Tommye



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usedtobeanyer


Senior Member

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Posts: 258
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I'm so sorry. Will keep you in my prayers.

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nyc018


Senior Member

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Posts: 292
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I am so sorry for your loss... will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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Jules1011


Member

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Posts: 20
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Thoughts are with you at this time........im so sorry for your loss.

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jules

 

god grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.....keep coming back....:-)
pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5663
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Ness, so sorry to hear that. Prayers are with you and your family.

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Ingwe


Member

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Posts: 18
Date:
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Ness, I am so sorry for your loss.  You and your family will be in my thoughts.



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youfoundme


~*Service Worker*~

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Ness, you are in my thoughts and prayers... HUGS

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-youfoundme

Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
peacewithin


Veteran Member

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Posts: 67
Date:
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(((((HUGS)))) So Sorry for the loss of your son I lost mine.
Children are the hardest. Its always hard to lose the future.
I will Pray for you and your family.

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I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could not do alone.
Fiddleman


Member

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Posts: 16
Date:
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Dear Ness,

Words can't describe what you are going through right now with the loss of your son.  I lost my son Scott in March to a heroin overdose and I am 8 months into the grief journey now.  Lots of help from folks on this forum and others, and I still go regularly to my home, F2F Al Anon group, where they know me well and understand my terrible struggle and now the aftermath.  I have helped some new people in Al Anon who have come to my home group seeking answers.. they said they have gained alot from my story and sharing my ESH and seeing that I can survive it and still be hopeful and try to help others.

I am also finding help from The Compassionate Friends, a group like Al Anon, with many chapters in different cities for people who have lost children.  They more than anyone understood my pain.  With time, healing will happen but you have to work it, just like the Al Anon program... feel the pain, die a little, cry for him, honor his memory and his struggle, ask your higher power WHY?, but accept that it happened and it was an outcome you tried your best to prevent, but could not.  It is very humbling in that way..

And when able, keep a journal, go to grief recovery groups (I went to many at the local Hospice, and gained much through the sharing by hearing each grieving person and offering my heart to them in their loss).. but also- take care of yourself, seek those who truly understand your loss, rest, sleep, take time off work, eventually try to practice things that lift you up. In my case (amateur artist) I try to paint alot, meditate, walk, reflect on him and his life, and still cry sometimes.  Eventually peace will come again as I can feel it starting to like the green growth in Spring after a terrible winter.  And knowing his struggle is over, finally.

It is a terrible disease that takes people so young and full of promise as I know your son was.   There are no words for it, but just know that I have shared your intense feelings of loss and despair, and that my thoughts and prayers are with you in this moment of great loss.   Go in peace.



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Fiddleman
orchidlover


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1036
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I am so sorry for your loss.  I witness the demise of alcoholics daily.  I do not have them in my life anymore in a way that can devastate it. This disease is astounding in the depths of punishment it can bring.

I know now that I have little that I can do to change it when someone is on a path of such self destruciton.

 

Maresie.



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orchid lover
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