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We went to a concert on Sunday night (cold chisel, an Aussie band.... very famous, not sure how much so overseas).. anyhoooo.
It is very unusual to have live concerts where I live because its so 'far away' from everything and a small population so to see an iconic band which I have loved since my preteens (old rockers) was too good to miss. It was an outside concert in an ampitheatre in the botanic gardens
My husband and friends came with me. None of us smoke pot or drink excessively so we were all good to sit and chat and have a meal before the concert and drive home.
Once the concert started, which was several hours after the bar was open and the sun went down... the pot came out all around us. People were passing joints left right and centre. My friends didn't participate but the air was thick with the smell. I ignored it and thought... man.. there are coppers everywhere.. how silly.. but I remember being young I suppose. Even the people in thier 60's were pulling out joints!!!!!!! that took me a bit aback.
My husband was straight. I knew he didn't want to be. Nothing was said prior to the concert and I don't think he smoked (not that I noticed anyway), so he was straight, around freely floating pot smells, most people near us quite intoxicated. He just held my hand and we danced.
As we were walking (shuffling) out the venue with the crowd, he was right behind me (I am bigger and can clear a path better), and three people around us were handing a joint around. I didn't even look at my husband and I tried not to even consider what he may or may not do. He was very quiet. One man near us yelled out "who wants to finish this" and held up a roach... a girl right next to my husband grabbed it.
I couldn't believe it!! The coppers were like, 10metres from us!!!
Anyway, he didn't take it. We had a great night. Nothing has been said about the dope all around us. My friends made some comments about how much there was etc, my husband and I just stayed silent on the topic.
I know he wanted it. I could almost feel his want for it. I can only say that I think he respected me and my friends, and also, he is not stupid and would (generally) be not as blatant as to puff away in public like that. It is asking for trouble in my opinion.
Anyway... the night as a whole was a good event, well planned and managed, no fights (eveyone was too stoned it woudl seem), and the police were all good. The ambo's even looked mildly bored. I think maybe the tropical heat kept people too exhausted also, it was a very very hot night.
How would have felt if he had taken some???? I have no idea. Embaressed more than anything I think. But, I didn't have to deal with it so.... it was calmly ignored and I am not going to bring up the subject either.
Great praise report, Linda. Isn't nice to change the environment just a bit? Love how you maintained your serenity. Life is sweet and at times bitter. It is all about balancing it all out. Thanks for sharing. Love your story. Enjoy your week!
wow- thats a surprising turn up for the books- i never thought he would do this. it will get easier if he sticks with it- its a habit and mental routines and habits are hard to break- doesnt matter what yu are dependant to- whether it be chocolate- food- pills- nicotene- its the same addiction. and the only way through it is to fight your yearning for it till you get used to going without. the first few days are the hardest- he needs to stick at this now- otherwise he is pulling his brain apart. it will be like detox- take the stuff- detox- take. it will be very confusing for the brain.
That's one thing about marijuana addiction...it's more of a nasty little secret cuz when someone smokes daily. One of my friends is a daily pot smoker and she would also never do it in public...it's almost like serious shame and denial because at home it's game on for her. She smokes weed all day and before work too.
Rosielee, he is not quitting, he has no intention of quitting. Pinkchip, I reckon he would have smoked if I were a smoker, or if any of my friends were smokers... but we aren't. ONly his friends are and they didn't come wiht us. My friends husband is an ex pot addict and he wasn't fussed at all. He doesn't smoke at all now and has got himself a job etc..... I don't know if he was uncomfortable or not, but they know the dramas I am having with it and he agrees that it is a hard thing to do.
It was a bit unusual, but only unusual for the past 12 months if you get what I mean. Prior to our wedding, if we were put in that situation, it would have been a little joke between us and we would have bantered about it. Now it is an ignored topic, well for me anyway.
For some reason this morning I woke up tired and a bit cranky... as I do at times... and I really want to look in his drawer. I haven't looked or even wanted to look for about 5 or 6 days now. I'm not going to because it would be a pointless exercise and I know no matter what I find, it will put me in a bad mood so I am not going to.
Focusing on the positive vs what I want to control makes life a LOT sweeter for me. I'm so glad you had a good time at the concert!! It's fun to see how bands have changed over the years especially when they were ones that were the "it" band when we were kids. :)
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I think I have found a way to articulate what I was trying to say here in this post a bit better now.....
The progress I see for me here is that I did not make this into a huge conversation about.. "did you want to smoke?, How did you feel without a smoke? See you can do it, why cant' you do it more often?"
Also, I have not taken it to be... yay.. he isn't smoking... yay.. he can stop.. yay.....
I have not put my values, my thoughts, my expectations hopes onto him.
I have looked at it as what it is.. one night that he chose not to smoke when it was all around him. It means nothing more than that.
That is a big move forward for me.....
The original post sounds like I am talking about how good he was for not smoking.. that is not what I meant..
Ihave not made it into a conversation, I have not allowed it to be a major event in MY life. It is what it is.....
