The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Something I've found, and for whatever reason it helps, is that I'm not the only one who sees that life and progress are often 3 steps forward and 2 steps back or 2 steps forward and 3 back or some variation of this pattern.
Yesterday morning my AH shocked me by showing up with baby girl (his daughter) to cheer me on for my race. He then went to breakfast with me and my parents. I picked up my dog from my parents and the transition back home was so smooth and I was so relieved!!! We came home and did chores and then went to church.
It was one of those really great perfect days!!! So when he started drinking after church and acting the way that infuriates me around his daughter, I quickly retired for the evening. I know baby girl is safe, it's just the mental game, you love me, here's chocolate. After already saying that she didn't need any more chocolate for the evening.
I debated this morning whether to bring it up to him. I've already made the statement I don't agree with the pot and alcohol and I will not bring it up again. So bringing this up after already telling him he's a much better parent when not drinking is rather like beating my head against a wall. I know that if I try and bring it up, he will not respond the way that I want him to. I've already expressed my opinion. So I had to work to let it go. It's so hard for me to do this. I want to shake him, to say wake up, to scream and cry and throw tantrums, and yet this would not make anything better. He would be able to turn it all back around on me and I would suddenly be the one with the issues.
Great posts this weekend! I've been reading but he's resentful of any time I spend on the computer at home. He left to take Baby Girl to her mom's so I opted to stay home and have ME time!!!
It sounds like he's the one going through the push and the pull is what I call it .. you did what was best for you to hang on to your serenity. Give yourself an atta girl. :)
Doing nothing at times is so much harder than doing something and having it back fire.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I told him last night I'm going to a meeting on Tuesday, initially that did not go over well, at all.
I remember informing .. lol .. there was no asking or telling, my AH of my initial meeting. He got a deer in the headlight look on him. I made it about me I needed to go for my own behavior past, present and future. In that moment I didn't like who I was and how nothing was going to change as things stood.
Enjoy your first meeting it is exciting!! It only matters that you want to get better and are doing this for you. His feelings or opinions about the matter really do not count.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
