The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We are still married. He still threatens divorce. We have lived apart for six years. We have less and less contact.
My question is: how do you stay away from them/avoid them because it is just too uncomfortable to be around him. He talks about his great life, other women, and how happy he is without me. I don't call him; when he calls me, I keep it short. With today's social media, my friends/family are his friends/family. I just makes me uncomfortable.
I know it is unrealistic to not have any contact with him without moving thousands of miles away. We have a broken relationship and a broken family (three grown sons). I have tried but I don't know how to have a relationship with an ex that I use to share everything with.
Aloha Nancy...My ex (addict wife) lives just up the road with her husband and one of my sons and his wife/family live on the property also. Reality is that there use to be a wider and larger bond which to some degree still exists along with additionals who came along within the addiction...that is mostly the reality of the situation. We also share the same birthday...I'm 4 hours older...(not a biggie) along with the adult children (biggie) and the grand-children and now Great-grand daughter. My current wife, who you have met and I do have choices and boundaries so we pick and choose who and when and where the "others" occupy the same space and time as we do. We arrive properly and leave in our time. There is no gossip or judging because program has taught us to give that up and accept with Higher Power. Today I get to see the progression I walked out of and how it affects those who have chosen to remain. I made a good decision. My divorce was written on a prescription pad and I took my medicine.
Your changes are just that...yours. Choose the consequences you desire and then do the things to get there.
I love Jerry F's response. It is up to you and what you are comfortable with how to proceed with your boundaries and how much time you want to see your A. I have kids with mine and I have learned how to trade them without seeing him, when I am not up for it. I am sending you love and support!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
