The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am trying to be positive and gentle with myself these last two weeks as it has been both my anniversary and my birthday. My husband and I haven't been doing all that well since I blew up and told him he had to leave. I have since started going to AlAnon and have apologized but he's having a hard time dealing with it. Needless to say we haven't felt like celebrating. And I figured that my birthday would be no different.
But he made me a cake - carrot cake with cream cheese icing. One of my faves. And for 2 days straight now he has hugged me (when I ask of course, but normally he would give off a vibe to not even ask and then would roll his eyes, lol). I don't know if my HP is giving me a bit of a break because I have been working so hard in the program or what but I am grateful. Sometimes you feel so low and so sad that you don't know what to do. Sometimes there is nothing you can do except pray. And that's what I did this morning. I woke up early feeling sad. I wanted to get some more sleep because I was so tired so I just closed my eyes and prayed. I just said help me over and over like a chant. I fell asleep. When I woke up i felt better. And my husband seemed in a better mood. And I got 2 hugs.
(((cupcake))) I'm so glad you're feeling better. Like you, I have had times where I felt so sad and helpless, didn't know what to do. So I prayed. I do believe in the power of prayer and positive thinking. It has worked for me and seems to be working for you. Thanks for sharing this.
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday and send some positive thoughts your way. I like that you're able to look at things in your life that you can be grateful for moment by moment. You'll get through one day at a time and I really like what you and Pineapple say here about prayer. I've been turning to myself and prayer more and more lately as I work through this recovery process instead of seeking all that external validation from people around me. I feel so much more peace of mind. I hope you will be feeling better soon.
Aloha Cupcake!! I've done that "Help me" "Help me" prayer and HP arrived and the magic that came after that was designed to "Help me" and not come to me exactly how I thought it would. I said the prayer as an 11 year old boy and child of the disease of alcoholism and 26 years later found the doors of Al-Anon. I could have never dreamed up Al-Anon as the solution and I could have never known that it would take what it took so that once in I'd never leave. I never have.
An Attitude of Gratitude is important when I get into the atmosphere you seem to be in. Gratitude was the subject of our last nights home group and during the sharing I remembered some of the lessons I got on that subject from early sponsorship and the groups. How could I be grateful for all the sickness going on in my life which had continued for soooo many years. What the hell was there to feel grateful for. "Did you have breakfast this morning?" I was asked. "Yes I did" I answered wondering what the point was..."Did you have to steal to get it?" was the second part of the question and I found the door to gratitude which also came along with a slogan. "Happiness is and -inside- job." An Alateen taught me that one. I hope she is still in program and passing that on to others also.
You don't have to appologize for being good to yourself and taking care of your needs although I recognize that the alcoholics and addicts in my life also had reactions to my way of getting help. Still I am responsible for taking care of my needs which include my mental, spritual, physical and emotional health.
Please continue with the program and come back here to share with us what you learn because that keeps us on the "sanity" side of the fence.
The love and comfort I felt in the rooms of Alanon started to flow into my marriage. I leaned on my homegroup for the support and understanding because this disease is tough stuff. I cant give what I dont have. When I finally was given the love, understanding, acceptance, and patience from my homegroup, that began to seep into all areas of my life.
I am chiming in with all of the happy birthday wishes and anniversary ones as well.
you have gotten wonderful ESH!! It's a wonderful experience to leak out positive things and receive back what we are leaking. :)
Things do get better, especially when we put the effort into ourselves we once put into the A's in our life. We deserve that attention from ourselves and it's a positive outcome when it's used for getting ourselves better mentally, physically and spiritually.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Happy Birthday!!!!!!! Oooh that cake sounds good :) How awesome is it huh? He made you a cake, what a sweet thing :) For me, when my qualifier does something for me, I am sure to thank him kindly ... I hope you have a wonderful day :) Happiness does begin on the inside, and I hope you keep coming :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
