The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So thankful I found this board. So disappointed to find out that while I thought my AH had not been drinking whiskey and only the occasional glass of wine it turns out he's been drinking this whole time.
I know that I can't change it, can't cure it can't control it. I know that I have to let go of it. I know that getting mad will not help the situation I have to let it go.
Just in the few days of reading and reading and reading it's been eye opening and amazing. I don't know what the future holds but I know that I am thankful for so much information and as I read the posts I'm amazed by the encouragement!!!
(((Yay!!))) Jackie...now go find the hotline number for the face to face meeting in your area. Al-Anon and then the number when you call that you will find the places and times we meet in your area. Come sit with us and share with us as we share with you what it was like for us, what we found out in program and how we do it now.
Jackie as you surely have already read in a prior posts, alcoholics are going to do what they are going to do......drink. You mention the three C's in your post and it's true we have no control over them or their drinking. We are the only person we can control. Before Al-Anon I let my wifes alcoholism consume and control my life. My entire focus was on her drinking and my life was unmanageable. With the program, attending meetings weekly, reading my literature, finding a sponsor, and coming to MIP my life got better.
That was 5 years ago. My wife is still drinking, over the past few years she has tried to stop several times. Once she maintained her soberity for 8 months. In the end the disease won again. That was two years ago this December. There is a reason alcoholism is best defined as a cunning, baffling, and powerful disease, and takes over the mind body and spirit of the alcoholic.....because it is as defined. I believe it and I accept it.
You could say nothing has changed but that wouldn't be true. I changed. I changed because I had a burning desire to work the Al-Anon program to the best of my ability. I wanted a better life for myself. I listened to the ones who came before me just as you have gained knowledge by reading topics and replies on this board from members who came before you and want you to have what they have. You can be happy, have serenity, and peace of mind whether the alcoholic in your life is drinking or not. The program will give you those tools.
Your better, and your life is better, because you want to get better, as evidenced by your post tonight.
One thing is consistent in members replies to others posts on MIP. The strong suggestion to find an Al-Anon meeting in their area and start their recovery. It's what I did, and what they did. It's what worked of me and them, and it can work for you. Find a meeting and you will find a new family who understands you as perhaps no one else can, just as you have found a new caring family here on MIP who only wants the best for you.
You have a choice to continue trying what you have tried in the past, or trying the program that can and will make your life better. Choose recovery. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and the alcoholic in your life.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Tuesday 18th of October 2011 10:56:41 PM
I just wanted to send support and add to the already fantastic shares about finding a meeting in your area. This program has changed my life in ways I never thought possible and finding the support of others. It's taught me to reach out when I thought no one would reach back. Things are different in our home because I"m different. The kids are thriving in new ways that I didn't even realize they were stagnated in. So do find a meeting in your area, do keep coming back and do keep coming to the boards it's an amazing journey. HA HA .. that's a "do do" list in the best sense of the word. :)
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
So glad you posted again :) Its good to have newer people here to keep us out of our own heads :) I can only say what is working for me: the post that Tommye did yesterday about the 5 G's, going to meetings, my sponsor, calling or texting alanon friends and reading all the alanon literature I can get. In loving support, HUGS, take care of you :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Alanon face to face meetings have been the difference between me losing my mind and finding peace of mind with the active alcoholics in my life. I have been on this journey of recovery in Alanon for quite some time. What I continue to find in the face to face rooms of alanon is there is always something more to learn or to be reminded of. For me there is no graduation in Alanon. The disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffeling, and powerful. I need to be reminded on a daily basis what I am up against is something so much bigger than me that can and will destroy families and relationships.
I love my family members that continue to struggle with their disease. I cling to the thought they didnt ask to be an alcoholic any more than I did. I see that now. When I work the steps with a sponsor, go to meetings, be of service to others, I am able to treat the alcoholics in my life with the dignity and respect every human being deserves.
I think you will find on this board hope. God is still in the miracle business. As such one of the Alanon slogans is Expect A Miracle. I thought it was a pretty hokey slogan at first. Now I know it has come true in my life. The miracle unfolds one day at a time. Keep Coming Back, it Works!
As scary as you think it is, it's all in the mind. Usually the first meeting is rough because it's an unknown and it's an emotional risk. Stay the course, it's only an hour and after that hour if you choose you can stick around and talk or take off and leave. It took me about 3 - 4 months of (once a week) meetings before I started to gel with my home group and it had NOTHING to do with them it was all me. Me and my own stubborn self, in response I just kept going and all of a sudden things started changing .. more importantly I started changing and that was huge!
It will be ok and you are going to be ok no matter what, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
@ P, Did you get inside my head somehow? I'm so nervous to go, and I probably shouldn't be but I am. I've told my close friends who know the whole story that I'm going so I have further accountability.
I promise been there done that .. LOL .. I would venture to say everyone has had some fear, anxiety, aphrehension (as well as other stuff, that's all ok totally normal) about going into a first meeting. It's really ok. I really can't stress that enough (as hokey and I hated this in the beginning, this saying .. LOL) keep coming back, it works if you work it and you are worth it. You only have to be willing to try and work it and keep coming back.
Hugs P :)
Jackie11 wrote:
@ P, Did you get inside my head somehow? I'm so nervous to go, and I probably shouldn't be but I am. I've told my close friends who know the whole story that I'm going so I have further accountability.
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
