The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm grasping the idea that it is ok to be perfectly imperfect and people love me anyway. I might not always say the right thing or do the right thing, I can only try to do the best that I can in any given moment. Sometimes it's all just dumb luck that I come close to saying or doing the right thing .. lol.
Someone said here in a very recent post that they had been looking at others thinking their lives were so much better and WOW that really resonated with me. It's funny because now when I look at people I have to admit I wonder what goes on behind closed doors, I bet the outside doesn't always match the inside. It's also made me a LOT more compassionate to other people who may be having a rough day of their own, even if I can't see it, I don't always know what is going on personally. It's easier to smile at a stranger and do random acts of kindness which why halmark hasn't made that an official "day" .. LOL .. wouldn't the be nice? A random act of kindness day or month. I think it's more important now than ever before, so much hope has been lost and gratitude of what we really have has been replaced with envy, greed and hopelessness.
Someone shared at the meeting Sunday that they ask themselves is it worth what they are thinking to have to make an amends .. lol .. WOW .. I was like that one would keep me in check big time. Do I want to have to go back and make an amends? Sometimes it is easier to just let it go.
Just as perfectly imperfect as I am my loved ones are made with the same or different imperfections. It doesn't make them less lovable or less human it actually makes them more human and more deserving of my compassion. I have a long ways to go on that one. I am starting with my AH and my kids on that one, I'm def not ready for my family or origin. LOL .. my brain can only take so much change.
Thanks for letting me share, hugs, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
You're right in that it's very easy to glamorize other people's lives when you don't really know what's happening. Speaking of the outside and inside not matching, after a summer from hell, leading up to my separation from AH, I confided in a close colleague about what happened. He was shocked at how calm I seemed and how I let none of this angst show. All the while, I was in a living nightmare. So yes, you really never know what's going on. Since joining this program, I am more aware of stopping myself before I get tempted to think about how others may have it better than me. I quickly realize how lucky I am in so many ways. I can appreciate the wonderful things HP has given me and trust that more will come my way. I don't berate myself (I get enough of that from my mom :) And, like you say, I realize things don't have to perfect all the time. I read somewhere, "Life Is a River, Not a Statue." Things flow, sometimes things are worse, sometimes better. Hugs,
Wow Pushka!!!!!!!!! Great share :) I love the positive feelings I got from it :) You and I are on the same page with compassion. That is something I am being taught from my sponsor, having compassion for my fiance right where he is and he is a human being and we do love each other so much...its so different when you come from compassion, acceptance and love... Thanks so much for your share :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
I've always loved that program phrase, "perfectly imperfect." It reminds me that I am a spiritual being having a human experience, that I am never going to be perfect, and therefore I shouldn't be so hard on myself when I make mistakes.... being human is not a defect of character.
I made a mistake (rather, I had an opportunity to learn something) this past weekend. I saw something in my boyfriend that I hadn't seen in all the 7 months that I have known him. He has some codependent characteristics (gasp!) Well, what did I set out to do? I had to make him aware, of course. He needed a good swift kick in the rear.
gag
Well. That night, I couldn't sleep. It wasn't until I got out of bed at 4 a.m. to sit in my chair to meditate, that I even realized I had been on a wild rampage on HIS side of the street. So what did I do then? I started bludgeoning myself for the error. The whip was in full force.
Gratefully, I have the guidance of 12 simple steps. I "went there"... yes... but I didn't stay there as long as I once did.
Fact: I am going to make mistakes. Fact: so will everyone else.... All of us, doing the best we can. All of us.... spiritual beings.... just having a human experience.... Perfectly imperfect.
When I take someone else's inventory, I am usually taking my own. There is nothing that my boyfriend did, that I have not also done. Today I can clearly see that I was sooooo hyper-focused on a "problem" (and let me tell you, my problems get very "serious," lol!!) that I failed to see the Solution. I separated myself from Higher power.... it's the only problem I EVER really have.
Thanks so much for the topic.
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Thanks, P. I have tears just reading this - I really needed it today. I know I'm my own worst critic, and for some reason I think that I'm unacceptable and people won't like me if I'm not perfect. It's a hard thought process to change.
I to have always had Issues with Attemping to Be Perfect Yet Always Knowing Or Assuming My Own Failure, almost like i Set Myself up to Fail, just to prove I was Unworthy of it...
Since i have Joined this Program I have Slowly Began to realize, I'm Me & thats Ok, and those that don't agree, also have a Choice to Make, it is not mine to make for them... All My Life I would Back away from Confrintation because I didn't like the Empty Feeling of Guilt that is left in my Stomach, Regardless of Who started What... I would Much Rather "Speak" (Not Text or Email) to someone and work out our Issues, then to sit back and Pretend they are Not Real, and I am Not Worthy of My Own Faults, Mistakes or Misdeeds... I Know I have them, I Own that... But even those I Try to be Perfect at...lol.. ;) For the Longest time Those were My Only Attemps at Perfection... was to Prove Everyone Right that Ever Knocked Me Down...
Now I Can Stand Tall and Know... I'm Perfectly Imperfect because that is Who I am, and that is How My HP Accepts me... I Still Try My Best to Do Good By Others, without Regret or Ill Feelings... But I Also Do My Best to Keep ME on the To Do List...
Thanks again for this Share... Really Makes you See how Differant we all Are, Yet we all Understand Being in this World of "Perfection-ism" ... And there is that "Ism" Again ;0)
