The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am going through many family adjustments & my AH is really not supportively there for me...it truly is like 'going to the Hardware store for bread'.
I attended a meeting tonight & on the way home, I decided to bring home a simple inexpensive meal to share w/him. Upon arriving home, there he was...sitting in front of an open garage door: drinking. He said that he would close-up & come inside shortly. I know it is to finish his beer...who does he think that he is fooling?!
Upon coming inside, I knew he had quite a buzz. Alcohol makes him quite the chatterbox & he tends to repeat himself several times. Quite annoying & frustrating. I get tired of answering his stupid annoying questions...most of them repeats b/c he cannot remember what he has already asked! If I don't respond prompto, he will carry-on the conversation with himself in sarcastic tones...difficult to detach from this behavior. As usual, by tomorrow morning, he will not recall a single occurrence from tonight.
I am just venting. No one else is home...& I just do not feel comfortable making a late night phone call. Actually, I do not make many phone calls, primarily b/c I have no privacy especially when he is home & questions who I am calling, why I am calling, etc. So, these message boards might be just the solution...although I've said that I would never do this. However, I am learning to never say never.
I am in the process of re-inventing myself in the employment world...so a bit apprehensive about these changes...waiting for that employer call to schedule an interview...trying to believe in myself & not to turn-on-my-projecter, since I know that tomorrow will take care of itself & I have no control over what each day will bring. Need to stay in the moment...it tells easier than it lives.
Im listening... good thing about your late night posts.. is that some of us in other countries are here listening.... that behaviour would frustrate me also. This is a good place to come and to read. I have even printed off some of the stuff that people have written and keep them in my little file.
those repetitions can be so annoying. did you ever see the you tube video of hoffman eating a burger (bay watch star) drunk that his daughter put on you tube as she was so sick of his alcoholism- it showed the world what he was like when drunk. this shocked him into sobriety- i used to want to record my mum all the time when i was younger and she drunk but never did. she has been sober 20 years and there are times when i still feel like recording her when she gets negative or manipulative.
It does take a bit of courage to open up and share to the forum. I do so appreciate you doing so. When I am fit to be tied and it is too late to call my sponsor, I turn to this forum for comfort and support. It has been a tremendous gift for me in that I did not direct that anger and hostility toward my AH loved ones. I had a place where I could express myself here amongst people who really understood what I was going through. Being understood and accepted exactly as I am is such a tremendous gift. It is an unmeasurable expression of love that heals my soul.
Yours is the first post I've read in a while. I have been reading/coming to this site for something like 8 months. I've been on hiatus for a bit.
Thank you for posting. You've reminded me that this is a good place from which to seek support, and I remember how late night posting used to help me. You actually sound very sane to me, compared to the way I've been feeling this past weekend!
Please keep coming back.
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"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."
Good for you for coming on here and not starting an argument with him. That is great! It is so hard to deal with them like that, but I have found for me, that when I keep it simple, relax and remain calm things go a lot better. Then I am not so mad in the morning, because that is not the time to yell either. Nothing I do to try and make him stop will work, so now I am working on me instead. The changes in me are working and things are slowly getting better. Glad you are here :) Keep coming, and posting here really does help :) There are alanon meetings every where, I hope you can make it to some for some real time support as well :) Having a sponsor is the golden ticket for me
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Welcome you have already received some good ESH I just wanted to welcome you and tell you to come here as often and whenever you need to. Yes, going to someone who doesn't know how to give something emotionally IS like going to the hardware store for bread and I now follow that with if you did actually find the bread chances are you wouldn't want it .. yuck .. bread in a hardware store what would be in it?! :)
Please keep coming back and keep taking care of you!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
