"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

Taking a Break

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Gail - for what it's worth, there is NO truth to the statement that all A's will relapse..... Just like us, A's come in all shapes and sizes - some recover first time, some never do....

I take occasional breaks from here as well, but can't seem to stay away long.....

I wish you well, and hope you keep up with YOUR recovery

Tom

rrib · Senior Member

GailMichelle wrote:
reading over and over again about how the alcoholic "will" eventually relapse.

Hope you return sooner rather than later. You're positive posts are always uplifting.

One of the things you hear around A.A. is 'you never have to drink again'. And it's true.

I can tell you, I meet alot to folks who became sober years before I even starting drinking! And I drank for a long time. In fact almost all the people I meet who are working a program have one thing in common - they are sober today.

Best regards! Enjoy your 'vacation'.

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Gail, I understand wanting a break, this board isn't your life eh? Sometimes I get busy and don't get back for a while and wow, it amazes me how many posts are there that I haven't read - I don't know how the mods do it, keeping up with the volume of posts every day. Good luck in your break, pop in every blue moon or so and say hi, let us know how things are going, if'n you've got the notion. Cheers!

nyc018 · Senior Member

Hi Gail, I'll miss your posts as you always convey a lot of wisdom and positive energy - but totally understand the need for a break. Sometimes I peek in on the AA boards and am uplifted to see people with sobriety dates well into the double digits. Since I've had to face this issue, I've also encountered several people who've been sober for 20+ years. So there's always hope. Wishing you the best and hope you'll be back when you're ready.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

We all take breaks!! There is a Higher Power than I and anyone else so we can leave and take off and the world is in best hands. B`sides running off and having fun and a laugh somewhere else and some other time is part of recovery. Thanks for what you have left already. ((((hugs)))) smile

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

Gail, I understand, I too hear the negative talk alot here (the "A" will eventually relapse, or the statistics say not many recover, so leave him already, kind of talk...), I am trying to be a positive light here, as are many others, including you :) I hope you will come back from time to time, take care of you and Hugs to you! Grateful member of alanon....

-- Edited by youfoundme on Sunday 16th of October 2011 04:20:57 PM

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Gail,

The statistics are scary however there is always that chance. I hope you will venture back and pick and choose what you want to read. The only thing I want to do is not live denial or constant fear if it's going to happen or when it's going to happen. I remember his addiction counselor saying he is going to slip he needs to have tools to get back up on the horse faster and it will be longer between those slips. Part of my own recovery is accepting addiction is part of his whole package and I have to be ok with whatever happens.

I know I will miss your shares so don't stay away for to long :)

Hugs P :)

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

GailMichelle, I understand you are not referring to anyone. Youfoundme is obviously referring to my posts about "What I wish someone had told me," so I will stop posting that. It's probably true that whatever we have to find out will be revealed to us, both positives and negatives. It sounds as if your ex-AH has a strong program of recovery going, and you do too. Wishing you every happiness.

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Gail)))

I value you as a member of MIP. I value your ES&H. There's nothing wrong with taking a break, doing the next right thing for you. I hope you are back soon and I will miss you until that time comes. I'm already looking forward to the day when I see a topic from you titled...................I'M BACK !!!

As Always HUGS,
RLC

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Glad you were/are here Gail. I see that message a lot here and this is a place were a lot of support seems needed for folks with not much hope of salvaging relationships damaged by alcoholism and addiction.

I try not to toot my own horn too much and I never say I am all better now....but, I have not drank since my first AA meeting. It has been over 3 years and I am really no different than any of the qualifiers people talk about on here. There was a several year people where anyone could have written a book on my self-defeating and destructive behaviors and a snapshot of my life now looks nothing like what it did then.

As far as my ex-A that I talk about sometimes on here - He's may always have a tumultuous life ravaged by his own addictions, but it doesn't much affect me so much due to all of the work I've done on me....and that might be a valuable message for others as well...i hope.

Thank you so much for being here and hope you come back soon. You were the one that started the happy anniversary thread for me and that was so sweet, It made my day that day :)

Mark

White Rabbit · ~*Service Worker*~

I will miss you Gail -

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rains fall soft upon your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

- Irish blessing

Your posts have meant so much to me. Thank you :).

rosielee · Senior Member

oh no!! Gail I will miss you!!! my mum sobered up on finding AA and she didnt look back, I also know several people in AA and they stick to the program- there are thousands and millions who stick to their recovery program. I gave up "stuff" 16 years ago- the only reason why im saying this is to show you that this is the most addictive substance on the planet and i gave it up real quick and didnt look back- it was easy- i ididnt want it in my life any more. there are many people i know who also gave up and equally dont look back. and there are some who dont seem to want to. Please dont give up hope- if you need to stay off the board thats understandable- i think you are going through a normal emotion- as time passes youll get the feeling that your hubby wont be looking back- its just early days thats all. i wouldnt take drugs again if it was hand delivered to my door- for free- or even if i was paid- i gave it up when i had money in the bank and a dealer a few roads down...i know this is quite unsual but perfectly possible!! I also know many who feel like this too....AA is FULL of people like these- my mums mates went to a convention in Spain- there are many who stay in recovery- thousands and thousand....its because they are in recovery that they stay off boards like these. you hear about the ones wh relapse- the thousands who dont- dont have cause to send their families to on line boards- so you are not coming into contact with them- but there are millions out there- otherwise AA just wouldnt exist still- its the sober people that keeps it all together and its this recovery that is at the heart of the whole organisation- not the relapsers- they just skirt on the fringes of the organisation. what yu are thinking- in my mind- is a totaly myth born out of your worries....thoughts are a powerful tool- becareful what you think- give it time and you can start to relax a bit more- what you are feeling is totallly NOrmal!!

rosielee · Senior Member

oh can i just say......that my mum can serve up wine- go into restaurants and even smell the stuff in the glass.....but she wnt take that step and drink it. and thats the same with me if someone was smoking the dragon near me...id throw up at the smell and all it does is bring back unpleasant memories. same when my mum smells vodka she heaves at the thought. dont let your imagination deviate from fact....but i think its total normal to be fearful in the early days...your hubby is doing so well, even if he does relaspe it doesnt mean doom and gloom- he will probably go right back on the wagon again- you slip off and get back on.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Also Gail, to back up what Rosie said, we say in AA that after you go long enough your drinking is ruined cuz you can never enjoy it again after having been in AA....actually that is a really good thing. The actual saying is "Nothing is worse than a belly full of bear and a head full of AA."

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Everyone,

It was too difficult to just delete all the emails that notified me of all the responses attached to this post. So here I am.

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It means a lot to me.

I'd like to share with you all as briefly as I can about what might have triggered this post. Last Saturday, my ex and I attended a beautiful memorial service for a member of AA. She had 10 years of sobriety and I was told that she was quite active in the fellowship. Her drug of chocie was heroin.

According to the surviving sister (there were 3 total) this woman took her life on the 2nd anniversary of their sister's death. Apparently, this woman and her deceased sister were very close and she couldn't handle living without her.

She leaves behind many people questioning what they could have done to help her want to live. Her fiance, her countless AA friends, and family. It was quite difficult to feel the grief that filled the large room. But at the same time, it was wonderful to feel everyone supporting each other, especially the fiance.

This memorial got me to thinking - geez - something that I shouldn't do. I know.

So................ one other thing I'd like to say is THANK YOU to Pushka for these wise words:

Part of my own recovery is accepting addiction is part of his whole package and I have to be ok with whatever happens.

Yep, it's all about "accepting" what I can't control and accepting people with all their blemishes. My ex is an addict to alcohol - always will be.

I'm learning to be okay with that, whatever happens.

Again, thank you to all that responded. I can feel your love and support.

I still need a break for now, even though this is such a wonderful place! I hope I don't confuse the newbies on this board. It's just that sometimes it's best to take a step back and get quiet. My mind needs some rest from all of this.

take good care, Gail

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"