The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have had a great day, that I hope to bring with me for the weekend...My qualifier is at work today from 9-5. My older son has a homecoming dance to go to tonight. Last night my son and I had some time together. I was going to go to a meeting but I realized he and I hadn't connected in a while so we did. We made real, home made baked macaroni and cheese (I walked him through how to cook it) and then we watched the movie Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind. He had wanted me to see it, so we did. I liked that very much and I think he did too, just hanging out the two of us. My fiance got home and we then all watched a comedy, and even though my fiance had a couple of drinks (really only a 24oz beer) I didn't take it personally and we had a really good night. He doesn't drink nearly as much or as often as he used to, so the changes in me are helping... little by little.
This morning I decided that while my fiance was at work, I would go to my svaroopa yoga class. On my way there I talked with my sponsor and we made plans for lunch. I love svaroopa yoga, man oh man does it ever make you feel so wonderful :) look it up, its awesome. While I was talking to the teacher and owner after class, I told them about my right arm and the nerve stuff going on that the doctor wants to do surgery for (Ulnar nerve and carpal tunnel).... they suggested doing some of the poses at home during the week between classes to help train my body, and make my spine release the muscles that are probably causing the nerves to be tingly... funny thing they said to me "Keep coming...it works when you do it more often" HA! Sounds like alanon to me, ! :)
So Then I went and met with my sponsor and we talked a lot about things. It was over lunch and so we only had an hour because she had to go back to work. She said "look into not living a fairy tale. Look into living in reality. You have a wonderful man in your life who has a few drinks either after work or in the evening every few days. look at whats changed. Remember to live in the now, and accept him right where he is at. Accept yourself and encourage yourself too. You are a super woman...super mom, super fiance... tell yourself these good things. And good for you for taking care of yourself at yoga. And for giving your son that time last night, its something he will cherish too..." Oh I felt so good and hugged!
So time with my son, time with me, time with my fiance tonight and time with my sponsor today... all wonderful things I am grateful for. I also found another alanon friend I can talk to during the day and its just an awesome world... HUGS to you all! Thanks...
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
I think that is what it is .. facing the reality of the situation of the knight in shining armor probably has a few rust spots .. I'm no perfect princess either .. lol. This is something I have been focusing on is enjoying the moments in general without putting expectations (which limit the joy and spontaneity) that things need to be more than they are.
My only caution is don't minimize the drinking 24 oz is a LOT of beer even if it's only 1 can. It's no different than getting the large soda from the gas station being diabetic and saying I only had 1 soda .. that's NOT 1 soda. It is what it is, which is more than A beer or A soda .. it is a reality.
I'm so glad you are doing things to take care of you and not allowing any negativity to take away from living in the present moment. That's what made yesterday so great for me, was just the whole connecting and enjoying the moment with no extra pressure of "what if" or "what next".
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I have to comment about the yoga. I practice a different style of yoga; however, I know from my practice over the years that it's quite beneficial physically, mentally, and spiritually.
The yoga instructor and the owner "might" be on to something. I'm close to 57. When I was in my 30's, I'd get terrible back pain to the point that I couldn't turn my head to look to the right or left, especially when driving. But in my late 30's I discovered yoga and since that time, truly, I've no pain anywhere! Many friends younger than me have aches and pains.
I realize that in some cases yoga will not "fix" the problem. However, I'd give it a really good try. I practice just about every day and plan to do so for the rest of my life.
By the way, there is a 90-something year old yoga instructor on youtube.com There's also some great yoga teachers there, too (Sadie Nardini, from New York is one of them.)
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
I am starting a Tai Chi class on Wednesday, I used to be alot fitter than I am now so I am hoping it will remind me. My husband is coming with me too.
I agree that drinking is drinking... but I also agree that it is an improvemet from what he was drinking. If it is acceptable then it is acceptable... whatever feels good for you and you can deal with is ok.
I enjoyed reading your post. It made me smile. Thanks for your heart felt share that proves again how working this program can and does change our lives for the better.
Pushka, yes its more than A beer (its 24oz of beer), but its way less than 2 pints of vodka :) I guess just trying to not count anymore, ya know? LOL... HUGS, I like what you said about connecting. We have been doing that the last few days and its so much better than when I freak out. :) Right, there is rust, and I am not princess either... I am working on it ;) THanks! HUGS!
Thanks everyone, for your wonderful support... so grateful to be here :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
I like the knight in shining armor with rust spots!! Soo true and very cute!! Who doesnt have a little rust anyways?! I also like that u remembered to take time out for your son!! We often get so upset at our A and so wrapped up we forget whats most important.. I figured that out one day when my 6 year old son asked me if "mommy was craby again" . How horrible for them to go threw when " mommy is craby" and so wrapped up to enjoy their little world...
I am new to this Message Board & have been reading some posts. My next comments have nothing to do with Al-Anon, just a general sharing of hope & experience regarding 'right arm nerve stuff' that Youfoundme mentioned in her leading post.
I also have endured a similar experience, & it was diagnosed as several conditions: bicep tendonitis, pinched nerve, shoulder bursitis & cervical radiculopathy. It felt like a 'toothache in my arm'. Anyway, bottom line, what helped the most was: stretching, stretching & more stretching with some massage. So, keep with the Yoga...since the more I stretch, the better I feel, resulting in less & less right arm pain.
You're right: your Yoga teacher's suggestion to 'keep coming...it works when you do it more often' is sooo like Al-Anon!
Wendie
-- Edited by Wendie on Monday 17th of October 2011 12:16:41 AM
