The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So today has been a much better day than yesterday was, my AH and I had a really great evening. He slept which I am more than ok with, he works his butt off every day of the week. Before he napped he was out bbqing in the rain, God love him, he's got more moxie than I do at times. I am looking forward to tomorrow we are driving to the licensing office to figure out what he owes how long to get his license back and so on. It will be the first day we have spent just us without the kids in FOREVER .. it's almost like an actual date!! I can't remember the last time we spent that kind of time together 45 min there and back I'm hoping we will get lunch together and get some grocery shopping done. They have different stores than we do in our little town.
The biggest thing is in the slips I think I'm starting to realize is they bring about the best growth. Whatever I slip be it two steps or a half step I know if I choose to I have the opportunity to double the healing I can experience. I also know it's my brains way of saying WOW that was a LOT to process let's slow down just a little!!
Today has been a new day and another day of hope and gratitude that I have the opportunity to learn from others.
A grateful member of alanon, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
So glad that you had such a great day! I hope it continues for you. Your positivity is inspiring and just what I needed to read to help me to keep on keeping on. You go with your bad self!!!
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--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
Yay!! I'm glad you had a good day. Your post is a good reminder that things never stay the same. My sponsor says "this too shall pass" to describe all days - good or bad. It's a good reminder to enjoy the heck out of the good days, isn't it?
Pushka, thats great :) Thanks for checking in with me, I do feel better today, back to work and all that :) Anyway, I like what you said about the slips and the growth. Its true. When I slip, I feel as if I can get back to me a lot quicker and that I feel as if I learned so much that I am better able to use the new tools to live by. And to live in the now... working on that one :) I am grateful you are here too! And I too am a grateful member...
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
So glad you are looking forward to spending the day with him. AH and I are supposed to be going on a trip to the Caribbean next week and I'm dreading it. I don't want to be near him right now and I so wished that I was looking forward to spending time with him, but I'm not. I haven't gotten to the acceptance or forgiveness phase. We still need to talk about what happened the other night and he's been very distant and sleeping on the couch, I know it's because he thinks I'm still angry. I'm really just more angry about the fact that he hasn't asked for forgiveness nor has he even admitted that what he did was wrong. He just sat there while I talked yesterday AM and didn't say a word. I guess I shouldn't expect much from him, I mean; what is there to say? He already knows he's in the doghouse until I forgive him. I just wish he wanted to be forgiven, it would make my life a whole lot easier, LOL.
Anyway, I got off topic there. Sorry! I hope you have a great day with your AH. I'm really happy for you in that he's been sober so long and that you guys seem to be putting the past behind you. Keep taking those small steps forward.
I have no idea what the future holds I will take what I can have each day and let God take care of the rest. It was a really nice day, just beautiful fall day. It was a great ride up and back. We actually wound up having lunch in town .. lol .. we have a great sushi place and that's where we went. Go all the way to a big town and come back here it's actually funny. :)
I'm terrified about next week, that's ok, I can't change or control what happens starting next Friday. Yup he's getting his privilege to drive back as of next Friday. It's kind of weird he doesn't get his actual license back until after everything within the courts this includes probation if he has any and fines. It's still scary and I'm trying to just be ok (the whole "as if" issue, act as if I'm ok with it regardless of my feelings ok with what is happening).
The next day off he takes we will have to go in and get his evaluation taken care of, that is going to be a toughie for us both (my expectation and I could be wrong is that he will be high risk rating I don't see how he can't be, it's not how often he drinks it is what happens when he does drink). I'm glad I have the time to sit back and pray about that and I'm pretty set on the idea of just going back to the past 3x he's been drunk that I have seen. Going into his history even there is a huge history about what has happened that isn't documented being that I will be there if that is relevant I don't know that's why I'm just trying to stick to the past 3 times. Again just trying to allow God to work on me and let me know what I need to say and what really doesn't apply.
Hugs, it was just so nice for it to be us and to have that whole experience without any drama ,without any hurt feelings and without any negative crap from either of us. We were both a little stressed to say the least (diff between 250 - 500$ and thankfully it was the lower of the two). He was so glad to have this resolved and have it resolved easily. It's in his mind one of the few things that hasn't been complicated in his mind. I have to admit watching the change come over him it was a blessing to watch and went far to soothe me.
Hugs and many wonderful blessings to all, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
