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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Powerlessness = Acceptance....
Post Info TOPIC: Powerlessness = Acceptance....
Jozie


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Powerlessness = Acceptance....
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Powerlessness....

You Know ... I have been Goin over the Roller Coaster for the Past 3 weeks, and I Can Honestly Say, It has not slowed down much... However, Coming here... Feeling Accepted, Loved, Cared for Emotionally, Prayed for Daily... I know HP Works Over time for Me!

With all the Family "Ick" Going On Around me, My Head at Night, Will Not Shut out the Light! So I have started to Say the serenity Prayer, EVERYNIGHT... Till I Fall Asleep... I have to say, I have Slept Better, I Can Sometimes Repeat it 30 times before i Doze Off, but Ya know... When I Wake in the Morning I am Rested, and Feel Less Pressure, The Worry's that I had from the Day before, I hand to HP and Have to start Over....

I Will say My 40 Hr Wk at the Hospital is Now down to about 20 hrs again, so that is Great Since the MIL is Home to SIL's, its been a Struggle on all, but we are Currently Working Things Out the Best we Can, Juggling things... So I'm Prayin that once we all get a rythum down, we will do even better...

Gram is Still in the Hospital, and tho she is Doing Better, she is Still Just wanting to go Home, I am there about 5 days a week, and I Feel Grateful I Can Be there for her, but it is Very Mentally Draining to sit for Hours Watching Someone you Love Slowly Slipping In & Out of Reality, and Getting Frustrated because she Can't Remember things, it Tears at My Heart, Yet I Wouldnt change that time with her for the World... I Ask her Last Night if She was Sick of Seein My Face yet, and she said... "Its the Only thing I Look Forward to, Day In & Day Out!", My Aunt is Down there too, but other then that, the only other person to visit her has been My Mom... And we All work 40 + hrs a wk, She's Been there 3 wks Sunday...Her Own Son who isn't but 4 hrs away, hasn't even come to see her, because he said he was on a Gulf Tour... Its Sad Really, Him & His Wife are both Retired, yet he has know interest in him Mom or her health, He Quit even Calling a week and a half ago.. She Broght that up last night...

I have Learned So Very Much about Powerlessness this Month! You Would Not Believe, From the Everyday stuff to the Tragic things, and Heart Breaks, and Schedules, and Cancelations, and Banquets, and Games,  & Practices, and the List Goes on... I have Serrendered to My HP Many Many Many Times since this all began, and I have to say that when I take the time to LISTEN to His Will For Me... Things work out better then I Could have imagined, But DAMN is it Hard to Get there sometimes....

Last Night I managed to Hit a Meeting, and it was Based on the 11th step, but we all began sharing of differant things, and the Word Control Came up... I Litterly Chuckled Out load... I thought to myself "Control" I have None! Not of the Stuff Currently Happening around me, I Can Be Here, I can Listen, I Can Go with the Flow... but I Sure Can Not Control! Everytime I Do, it ends Badly..

I have really been Practicing knowing my Place, and Staying Out of Reach Just Far enough that i Get Some Peace for myself, and Some Added Peace of Mind, that I am Right were I'm Meant to be... I Wouldn't even know what to put in my God Box, for I have chosen to allow HP to Carry me for a while, till I can Get My Balance back.... I Guess in a sence I am Alot Like Grandma in Rehab... Sometimes I Just have to Learn to Put One Foot In Front of the Other, One Day at a Time... Even if at times the Steps are Not Steady, Its still Practice not Profection...And I Know I'll Get there, but Sometimes the Acceptance of Powerlessness, is More Tiring then Tryin to Control...! IF that makes any sense....

Thanks for Letting me Share...

Much Love, Hugs & Prayers to all

Jozie



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Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D
Debilyn


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powerless to me is saying I can't do anything about it so why bother even thinking about it?

It's as simple as I don't think about changing the weather. Being powerless is a relief really. We learn to live life not bothering with so much as it is moot anyway. We cannot change it.

hugs,deb



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Jerry F


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Mahalo Jozie!!  Also am there and doing that also the holding on and the letting go.  Sometimes is sucks waking up in the morning knowing I'm still mentally and spiritually tired.  The Serenity Prayer and others help and sometimes I'll do a PM type asprin and the like however practicing powerlessness and acceptance sometimes means you're gonna be up doing it.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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Pushka


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Hugs Jozie,

So glad to see you here even with the hectic life schedule.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
White Rabbit


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Yay for you!!

I've come to decide that I really LOVE being powerless over others and their issues. When I got here I was so frustrated that I was powerless - I didn't want to be! I didn't believe I was! But now ... I've discovered how tired I was trying to play HP for people that didn't want me to. I was their self appointed conscience, nag, mother, etc. All because I was afraid of losing control of something that I never had control of in the first place!

When I accept that I am powerless over others and their actions, I also accept what power I do have - and I have a lot of power, it's just not over the things I once thought I could control.

Thanks again,


Summer

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* White Rabbit *

I can't fix my broken mind with my broken mind.
flopadopilus


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I love what White Rabbit wrote about how tiring it is trying to be other people's conscious, Mother, nag, etc. Yeah I did do all that and yeah I did get tired and YES it is so nice to finally hand it over to HP and say you can do it and I can not! Thanks Jozie it sounds like you are working a great program and doing all you can. Keep taking care of yourself in the midst of it all. Sending you love and support!

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God grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference. 

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
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