I'm sorry you're in this difficult situation.  I've heard a number of stories of business partnerships that went wrong, and it's stressful.

I'm thinking about your asking her not to call you "Miss ____."  The way I understand it, that isn't a boundary exactly.  (Of course you have the right to ask her, that's certain.)  A boundary is when we decide that if so-and-so happens, we'll have to respond and protect ourselves by doing [whatever].  For instance, if our partner drinks excessively every time we go out to dinner with the family, we can ask him not to drink.  But that's not setting the boundary, that's a request.  (And/or it's trying to control him.)  But if we say, either to our partner or ourselves, "If there's any more excessive drinking next time we go out to eat with my family, I won't be able to invite you any more" -- that's a boundary.  A boundary, as I understand it, includes something that will change if a circumstance continues.  It's hard to say what a boundary would be in this instance -- calling you "Miss ______."  But the way I understand it, the boundary would be a change that you would make to keep yourself safe from the consequences of the action.

In this instance, it seems as if both people have a set idea of what they want to happen, and those ideas conflict.  She maintains she has a right to call you what she wants, and you maintain that you have a right to establish what you are called.  Obviously for animosity not to develop, one of you would have to be more flexible.  I imagine both people are saying, "She should be the one to be more flexible."  My hunch would be that this is the tip of the iceberg of some disagreements or a mismatch in style that's going on.  Because by itself it seems a little adjustment for either person to make.  So digging one's heels in about it suggests that it's really the face of a larger problem and probably some resentments that have cropped up along the way. Maybe it's easier to be confrontational about this than about some larger issues?  Of course I don't know the whole story, so that's just a guess.

I am also remembering the Al-Anon saying that "Expectations are premeditated resentments."  We can ask someone for something, but expecting that they will do it is one of those premeditated resentments, wouldn't that be true?

Life gives us so many chances to practice the tools of recovery.  I hope this becomes clearer.  Take good care of yourself!

I like this thread because it applies to my relationships also.  I'll never get it perfect and I remember also feeling guilt about asking for what I wanted, how I wanted it and discovering that it wasn't soooo much guilt I was feeling but fear.  I was afraid of how they would feel about me standing for myself and what they would do in return.  Since I have this fear base with a "what if" curiosity and only rely on my dysfunctional thinking to come up with the answer, I do myself in pretty good and pretty fast.  Actually I have value and worth and I can stand up for those all the time I want. 

You're growing good YFM...keep working it.   ((((hugs))))