The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was practicing using every tool I have until Thursday afternoon. My nine month old niece has stage 5 bilateral kidney cancer and I can not sleep. I hear my brother sobbing and see her little body wrapped in tubes every time I close my eyes. I have managed to pull through each day since and do what needs to be done so far with help from HP but right now i am not feeling that strength. I don't even know what to write except I need tool reinforcement really bad.
Gratitude list is a start- Sir Paxius Noisemaker came to live with me, I have lost count of the number of dates with the very nice and healthy man that I like, my family member's surgeries were successful, my grandma decided she did not want Hospice called because football season was starting and my exAH chose to remove himself from this environment and moved to Texas where he may have a better shot at staying sober.
Oh sweetie your life is huge right now. Its ok to STOP. When we are mentally/emotionally overwhelmed we cannot work right anyway. It's no different than if you had the flu, your body needs you to stop and rest. It's ok.
Would you mind if I said a few prayers for you? Deepest heartfelt regards for your niece who has stage 5 cancer. I cannot imagine what you or your brother are going through.
Sending you lots of love and support. I was thinking the same thing as Tommye, if I could throw some positive things out for you and your family during this very difficult time. Hugs again.
In support,
P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Please do and thank you for all prayers, positive energy, kind thoughts sent to my little Sparky and her brother and parents. I am so grateful for everyone's prayers and that she is in a children's care hospital the university hospital just finished. Not only is the care excellent it is also designed to not be scary and has play areas for my nephew. They did an amazing job making the facility family and mostly child friendly. Of course that did not stop my niece from making the distinction that if a person is wearing a white coat they should leave her room. Everyone takes them off before entering now. She is recieving an experimental treatment to try to reduce the size of the tumors in hopes that the tumors (pretty large portions of her kidneys) can be removed. The success rate is very low but it has worked in other cases.
I am so sorry I have not introduced Pax yet. I have been spending so much time at other houses with no visual aid help on their pc's that once I get home it is all about the homework ... and potty training. He is a red fawn mastiff with a black mask and tail, a very very round head, much smarter than I am and a very gentle calm nature. His first human mom was hoping he would find someone who had a special need or disability because he seems to recognize and make adjustments for people. As soon as I get my camera downloaded and figure out how to insert a picture I will put one up.
It is dusty but my God Box still works just fine, thanks Jerry! I am going to go clean it up and find a more visible spot for at least a while.
Hey!! just a visual Jen...and thanks for it...if the mastiff is a "special needs" spirit will the hospital allow him in to see your niece? Just a visual cause HP uses what ever is available to bring around peace of mind and serenity. (((hugs)))
Just gotta walk behind him with a pooper scooper...it could happen!!.
Hi jennifer, I'm sorry for the rough times you are having and will send prayers and positive thoughts for you and your family. It's great you reached out here and made a gratitude list, and your new mastiff sounds like a great comfort. Keep taking good care of yourself!
Wishing you well,
Doozy
Little ones are miracles Jen they are alot stronger than we give them credit for , hopefully your niece will be another miracle .. thinking of you to day . Louise
Thank you everybody! Sparky is getting her second round today and if all goes well over the next 24 hours she will at least get to go home until the next round. A few of us went to their home today to clean and rearrange things a bit for the feeding machine and monitors, it felt good to at least have something to do that could help a little. I know being home even for just a few days with both her children and familiar surroundings will help my SIL more than anyone and I am grateful for that. And now I have to run again ... I forgot about exams this week. It is a good thing my head is attached.