The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just found this group today after doing ALOT of research. I have found an Al-anon meeting that I will attend this coming weekend (my FIRST ever!). Heres my story....my sister informed the family at the begining of the year (for the second time) that she was addicted to pills. By this time I was fed up with her irresponsible ways and non-consiquental actions over the past few years. She has a son that is 5 but is basically being raised by my parents. She went to a detox (3 days) and came out claiming she was "clean and sober". Well this lasted about a week. She continued to smoke pot and (long story short) has now become a raging alcoholic. Her, the boyfriend and thier son all live at my parents house. My dad is not in the best of health and is completely stressed out by her and her actions. She becomes a fall down, sloppy drunk EVERY night, all under the watchful eyes of her son. I just dont know what to do any more. I know this is NOT my problem, but as you all know, alcoholism is everyones problem. I have talked to my parents until i'm blue in the face. I tell them constantly that they are enablers. I have resorted to detaching myself from them until they ALL get help! I have informed my parents that as of right now I will no longer make an effort to come visit, and until things change I will NOT be coming over to visit. (they live 4 blocks from me) I have told them that this includes holidays ! I just cannot subject myself to the dyfunctionality any more ! Please...please...please....any advise would be appriciated. Just tell me I'm not the crazy one in this family !!
Welcome to MIP. I am thankful that you are here. We are encouraged to share from our experience, strength, and hope (ESH) and refrain from giving advice. I dont know what it is like to walk a mile in your shoes. As such I am completely incapable of knowing what is best for your situation.
What really helped me when I was new were the 3 C's of Alcoholism They are:
You did not Cause it
You cannot Control it
You cannot Cure it
Alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I think you will find that the face to face meetings of alanon have many members who have similar struggles as what you have shared. The power of the program rests in members who share their ESH and how their lives have changed as a result of using some of the tools from Alanon. If you try to keep an open mind, you will find help. It is suggested that you attend six or more meetings before making a decision as to whether or not alanon is right for you.
Please keep coming back and posting here. We do appreciate the opportunity to get to know you better. Thank you for your courage and honesty in breaking the silence.
I sent you a PM on detachment..... Sorry, I can't tell you that you aren't the crazy one in the family, as alcoholism has a strange way of making all of us insane.... Your sister's actions are affecting you - and your entire family.... The good news is - there IS help available..... Somewhat obvious for your sister (should she choose it), but more directly - for both you and your parents.... Al-Anon can help you understand way more about this disease, and how best to NOT allow it to make you crazy.... Many great books out there, but the best for me was "Getting Them Sober", volume one, written by Toby Rice Drews....
Your parents and you aren't all that different - it just appears that you are each using different coping mechanisms to cope with the insane behaviors of your sister.... I would encourage you - and your folks - to seek recovery..... for you..... for your sake, and the sake of that innocent 5-year old...
Glad you found us
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Hi sister, and welcome to MIP. You're in the right place. Although our situations may be different, in some ways they're all the same. We have had to, or still are dealing with the A's in our lives. And that can definitely make us crazy! Alanon and this board can be a huge help. I also recommend the book Tom mentioned. I learned, and am still learning so much from it. As tommy said, we don't give advice but you will find so much understanding, encouragement and support (in addition to ESH) here. I hope you will read some of the other posts here, learn as much as you can about the disease of alcoholism, and keep coming back.
Hi Sister and welcome to MIP! It sounds like you are practicing dettachment before you even make it to your first meeting. I hope you are able to make it to that meeting and to share here with us some more. I read the book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews and it was such a great and helpful book. I am sending you love and support on your journey!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
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