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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I'm all alone out here!
Post Info TOPIC: I'm all alone out here!
lyonzgirl


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I'm all alone out here!
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I just dropped my husband off at a rehab center, but he's addicted to oxycontin. There's no NA support for families in my area and they told me to go to AlAnon instead. I have absolutely no one that I can talk to. I've been dealing with this all by myself and I'm tired. I love my husband, but if this fails, then I can't stay with him anymore. He SEEMS really motivated, but he's scared, too. He almost found a way to back out of showing up at the rehab place. I know that I have been the enabler, cuz I'm...as he puts it...a pushover. Not just for him, but my kids too. I trust...I'm nice...I'm generous...I'm caring, but it seems that these qualities have helped my husband get deeper and deeper into his (current) addiction. He beat alcohol...hasn't had a drink in years; but he replaced it with percocet. Then he replaced that with oxycontin. He doesn't TAKE it...he SMOKES it. God, please let him get through this rehab and then stay clean, and please help me not to be a naive pushover anymore. I just need someone to talk to that won't judge me, or tell me to leave my husband. I need to cry, but I feel all cried out.

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Valerie S. Sober
canadianguy


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Hi Valerie... welcome to MIP...

There is an old saying - "addiction is addiction is addiction".....  It is really the same process whether he is addicted to any of the three substances you mentioned, or dozens of others....  Don't fret about no NA - Al-Anon will serve you just fine.... I doubt very much whether anyone at Al-Anon, or this board, will tell you to leave your hubby.... What you will here, over and over, is to take care of yourself, and choose recovery for YOU.  In doing this, you'll be much better off - no matter which choices he makes....

Take care

Tom



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
lyonzgirl


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Thanks. Can I get the books on kindle? I can't buy anything until tuesday anyway, but that way i'll have them.

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Valerie S. Sober
rrib


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lyonzgirl wrote:

He beat alcohol...hasn't had a drink in years; but he replaced it with percocet. Then he replaced that with oxycontin.

Sorry, replacing alcohol with another drug is not beating anything.

It's good that he's now seeking help. We're glad your here.

Al-Anon is also for you. Here's the link to the NV al-anon site. I see there are some meetings in Carson City http://www.nevadaal-anon.org/nonvmeetinglist.html



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Jerry F


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Aloha lyonzgirl and welcome to MIP...we won't judge you here and you have to stop it yourself.  Stop judging yourself.  This is a compulsive disease of the mind, body, spirit and emotions and only can be arrested by total abstinence....He has abstained from alcohol and replace it with other mind and mood altering chemicals.  The most valuable thing he told you was about you...the pushover part is about being an enabler without boundaries to our own caretaking.   MIP and Al-Anon fellowship understands that very well...been there; done that too and learned in Al-Anon how to stop it.  I am also a good caring, giving person with very bad consequences to that when trying to have a life with an alcoholic/addict.

Its good you found MIP now go to the white pages of your local telephone directory and find the hotline number for Al-Anon.  Call it and find the places and times we get together in your area to help each other understand and find new ways of living our lives.  The consequences is a very solid peace of mind and serenity and a relationship with a Power Greater than ourselves and a new family of awareness, love, compassion and support.

Keep coming back here also.   (((((hugs))))) smile



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pineapple


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(((lyonzgirl))) Welcome to MIP, you're in the right place. The people here are great listeners, no judgement. Just caring and sharing our ESH (experience, strength, and hope) with each other. I'm glad your H is going to rehab. Maybe it will be what he needs. What you need is to take care of yourself. If you can't get to meetings, there are online meetings here at this site. There's some great literature out there too. I have the daily readers (Courage to Change, and One Day at a Time) which are so much help to me. Keep coming back. Believe me, you are NOT alone!

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flopadopilus


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Hi and welcome to MIP! I hope you find some Al-anon face to face meetings and start your own recovery process! I am sending you love and support!

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God grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference. 

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
lyonzgirl


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Thanks everybody! It's Monday morning and I'm looking up that face to face meeting schedule right now. I'm a little scared but I'm going to do it anyway.

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Valerie S. Sober
pineapple


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I'm glad to hear you're going to a meeting. I understand feeling scared but I bet you'll feel so much better afterward. You don't have to share if you don't want to, you can just listen and learn. Let us know how it goes.

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tommyecat


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I wanted to welcome you here as well.  I do so hope you will find a face to face meeting.   They helped me too when I was new.  I really relied on the love, comfort, honesty and understanding that was shared in the rooms. 

You dont have to do this alone anymore.  Keep Coming Back!

Thank you for sharing today,

Tommye 



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