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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> AH's 2nd DWI but I'm feeling OK
Post Info TOPIC: AH's 2nd DWI but I'm feeling OK
sookie


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AH's 2nd DWI but I'm feeling OK
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It has been so long since I have posted! So much has happened but in some ways, not much has changed. My AH had moved out the first week of August and then got his 2nd DWI the first week of Sept. I am awaiting his court date still but and of course there is the possibility of jail time. My kids still do not really know he moved out...he comes twice/week so I can go to my F2F meetings and then one weekend day. They mainly think he is working otherwise, so it has been gentle in many ways.

The miracle, the PROOF for me that this program WORKS when you work it, is that I was OK through this all. It was hell watching him unravel emotionally and honestly, I was terrified he was going to hurt himself as he realized he may be going to jail. But I knew before this happened that he had not hit his bottom. I am not the one to judge that, I know...but that was my gut feeling. So I was not shocked...his drunk driving was why I asked him to move out in the first place. It terrifies me.

More importantly, I didn't *feel* the raging, lunacy-type anger the way I have before--all I felt was sad for him, that he keeps doing this to himself, and I just tried to be compassionate. He is suffering more than I can imagine. I really do pray for him, but know that this is his journey and I need to keep myself healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally) no matter what happens to him so I can take care of our 2 kids.

So many Al-Anon tools saved me: I didn't cause, I can't control it, can't cure it...Live and Let Live, Let Go and Let God....I think I understand detachment. He isn't doing this TO me...and that makees it easier to accept honestly. Does that make sense? I am not a vicitm in this. 

I will keep coming back and am so grateful to be here. I have been attending F2F meeting since Januray (when he checked into rehab). I wouldn't have survived the roller coaster of this year as he has wrestled with sobriety w/o Al-Anon. I mean, I really do not want to KNOW what I would be like, because I was broken DOWN when I came into this program.

And I have so much work to keep doing. Thanks!!! 



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Debilyn


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This is a great post! It was so refreshing reading of your progress! You really have worked the program. Your belief in your A having a horrible disease and feeling compassion is so so HUGE of a step!

Feels much better than bitterness and anger huh? Well sort of. It is so very sad for them. and us really.

It sounds like you guys are handling this as healthy as you can. Your kids will do so much better.

Thank you so much for coming back in! love,deb



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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Pushka


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Hugs Sookie,

We're pretty close to our anniversary dates in Alanon. I'm telling you this program has saved my butt. You are a confirmation what I have already been feeling and that's I need to be here reading stories like this and knowing everything may not work out the way I think it should it's all going to work out. It's still scary and it's still hard.

Still in the middle of the "2nd DUI" I say it that way because of technicalities his DUI's have been reduced and this one will be too once he's fulfilled his probation stuff. The only thing I don't like about it is the fact my AH can rationalize and justify the others away. They don't count. They do count to me. I swear it's like a gift that keeps on giving. I do have to say I see this as such a blessing now vs what I saw it a year ago.

Without this program I would have never seen the current DUI as a gift and even though it keeps on taking financially I am still coming to grips with that side of things. I'm so with you sister mine, that I would have been hopping that crazy train and heading down the road to looneyville and it's just not a trip I can afford to take.

Thank you so much for your share, it's amazing how many of our stories are so similar.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Jerry F


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Keep working it and coming back and sharing it Sookie and thanks so much for sharing what you have already learned and are experiencing.  Grateful  ((((hugs)))) smile



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youfoundme


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Sookie, thanks for bringing it back here :) HUGS!

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-youfoundme

Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
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