The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In the last few weeks I have had a major stressor in my cat being ill which required a lot of time going to the vet to get her set up on some medications. Then my phone broke, then I couldn't make it to the vet to get one of my dogs vaccinated.
I generally view any of these obstacles as a calamity rather than a "given". Things happen when we are living life! I realized I don't leave enough space in for these things. I am gong to have to work on ways I can cushion my time so that when somethings come up it doesn't push me off my schedule for weeks on end.
I know when I lived with the ex A calamities were daily, they were the huge kind, he had a heart attack (he didn't), he crashed the car (all the time, he got a ticket (he spent thousands on tickets), he didn't pay the bill (the electricity got cut off, the phone was regularly cut off).
This year my phone was cut off once. When I lived with the ex A I could count on nothing. I need to set a life where I have room for the inevitable and I'm just not there yet.
My attitude change is just one part of moving to a place where I'm not unlikely to become unravelled by a series of events like the ones that happened in the last month.
Interesting, I was in same place recently--somehow thinking that if A is sober & I am in program, life will go smoothly. Knowing intellectually that life JUST HAS bumps-often big ones- isn't enough sometimes; I get into a child like mode without knowing it and unconsciously want what life appears to be like for ppl on TV or something...
Together we can make it through the thick, thin and in between. Continue to find ways of taking care of YOU & hold our hands while riding the bumps, like u are obviously trying to do. The only way out is through they say.
Thanks for your honest share,
Luv123
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Wishing all the best on your recovery journey, Luv
