He wont pay the bills - Al-Anon Family Group

alexmaui · Veteran Member

He wont pay the bills

rosielee · Senior Member

i dont know hun xxxx but i think it might be a good idea to discuss this openly with your bank and they have a duty to you to give you advice as its not good to let the payments slip for too long- in your name.
same with the insurance- ring them up- describe the situation- that you are legally seperated from your alcoholic partner and ask how you can change the policy- after all you cant be paying for someone else bills for ever

so i think if you face this- it will flow easy and youll get solutions...but i totally- totally understand just how hard it is to face these things. im in the dam kind of boat myself- but different.

good luck honey XX

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with rosielee that you talk to the banks and people who are trying to collect money to find a solution. I recommend you keep records should you need them for later. Making the calls and handling this is a lot less painful than the alternative of collection agencies and bad credit.

Wishing you the best.

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Alexmaui,

I dont have experience in this issue, but I wanted to lend you some support with a spirutal {{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

xoxo,

Tommye

rrib · Senior Member

Divorce is all about the money. I would ask my lawyer what to do and follow the lawyer's advice.

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

I live in California. From my understanding, whatever mess my husband created (financially speaking) I was responsible too (according to my lawyer.

I'd consult a lawyer as soon as possible.

I hope you find solutions and soon!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Alex, I do believe I would call your insurance carrier and ask. I would also ask myself what makes me keep him on my insurance?

As far as the house it can be complicated. Now days things are such a mess with banks and mortgage companies.

I was in your place. My decision was to start by calling the Mortgage company and asking them.

All you need is your loan number. Most mortgage holders have a Loss Mitigation dept. They may have some ideas as to what to do.But sadly this goes on your credit too. If something happens to him, it is in your lap.

In Oregon I got a legal separation so I was not liable for any of his bills or if he was sued for an accident or whatever

I am so sad you are in this position, makes it very hard to move on.

Also Lawyer Referral has been so handy for me. You get a reduced rate and the attornies have always been so helpful for me.

Keep coming!! love,debilyn

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

Generally every year insurance has a re-enrollment period in which you can take someone off your insurance. If you call your company's HR division, they will tell you when that period is. It is often October, which would be handy for you (but doesn't start until January). When a divorce comes through, you can also take him off your insurance no matter what time of the year it is. But to do it now would probably mean less time that you are liable for the bills.

A lawyer would probably clarify the situation for you, but I believe that you are indeed liable for the bills. Your divorce settlement should provide for what happens to the house and mortgage in the divorce. One option is that he could "buy you out" (you'd want the money up front), or you could sell the house and both take a portion of the proceeds. Again, a good lawyer will lay out your options.

So sorry you are going through this.

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

In California if you get a legal separation, you are usually not responsible for his bills, but since
he is on your insurance, that may be different.

As long as you are separated and its not legal, your responsible for all his debts.

Best to get legal advise.

Bettina

rosielee · Senior Member

so it seems then- judging by these guys kind advice....to face up to those debts and enquire- and it will be so much easier and better once you do it. i did it myself today and it went much better than i thought

and to start a legal seperation off as soon as possible! good luck

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I live in Wisconsin and in my divorce there was a section about when we each became liable for what bills and I was sure to leave that date way back to when I first moved out a year and a half ago and my exAH signed and agreed to it. You can look online at you state.gov sites and read through the divorce paperwork and find out if there is such a section for your state. I am sending you love and support!

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