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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> sorry need to get this out.
Post Info TOPIC: sorry need to get this out.
Tracy


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sorry need to get this out.
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My Abf has gone missing with mney he owes me and his mum.  I really need it I am in bit of a financual mess.  I am so angrey went to get his nieces baby because I was baby sitting fr her she told me she did not know where he was.  I went to collect her baby from another house where she had been dumped and the girl told me she had picked her up from a house the night before where her mum was drinking.  I went to the house to get something the baby had left and my ABF was there smashed been partin for days with my money.  I lost it when i webt round the back of the house he ran out of the front.  I went back to his niece with the baby I was so upset she had been patying with him and had lied to my face.  I have done lots for this girl supported her when she lost her first child.  The whole family are as bad as each other why do I keep giving to people who are a waste of space.  I am so upset an angrey all I have done is support this family.  My daughter seen alot of this I am ashamed to say and stopped me from going and doing something stupid she is only 15.  I rang someone from al anon and she also talked some sense into me.  How do I handle these feelings I am hormonal and very upset and Angrey I do not want to do something I will regret but I am sick of people doing shit to me and having to rise above it.

I have come on here to get it out sorry, I will go and do some reading and praying, I can not handle this I will ask for Hps help.

 

thanks for listening

tracy xxxxx



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Pushka


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Hugs Tracy,

I am soooo sorry you are going through this there are no easy solutions or words that will make a financial situation fix itself.

Hugs P

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
rosielee


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you always get by somehow...youll survive cnsidering that you are not on a desert island without matches XXXXX its amazing how i get through my life financial wise- but i seem too.

no one has mentioned it yet....HP? I bet your HP will help you out of this one- if you stop stressing and trust HP i think youll find a solution comes frm smewhere.

i think stealing money is the pits...iv had it happen to me myself, and it really is the lowest form of treatment....

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rosie
pinkchip


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Your boundaries are yours. You get to choose them. Some bad things will always happen to you, but this pattern can be limited by increasing your boundaries upon people that are users. Not saying you did anything at all to deserve this. I'm saying that alcoholics and users find people who are a bit on the overly giving and too kind side and they work them. It's against your nature most likely to make these boundaries and like most of us, having firm boundaries probably feels "mean" to you.

I guess you have to decide if you are sick enough of this situation to merit some distance from ABF and his family or if you are willing to forgive/accept. Both are forms of detachment but I think one is more permanent than the other.

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Mattie


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In my experience when we have strong feelings like this, our feelings are telling us something important.  In your case they seem to be saying that these people have violated your trust badly.  Anger is there to distance us from people we shouldn't trust and to keep us safe.  Maybe distancing like that is something to consider putting in place?  Hugs.



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Debilyn


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I may be wrong but I believe I remember your tiptoeing around him as he had money coming and it was yours.

I got a sick feeling then. I am so sad this has happened. I am guessing he spent it all?

All I learned to do was look at my options no matter how crazy they were or are.

Mine promised me and begged me to try again Tracy. Stupid me I fell for it. Next thing i know he is living at where he is now with the woman of ill repute....

I pray you have doable options!! love,deb



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jerry F


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Aloha ((((Tracy)))) give yourself moments to quietly focus on these steps....

1.  Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanagable.

2.  Came to believe that a Power Greater than ourselves could lead us to sanity.

3.  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

Focus slowly on these and the truth of these and then do the other stuff you have decided to do with your mind, body, spirit and emotions.

When and where is the next face to face meeting and how handly is the list of telephone numbers for the membership that said you can call.

Take care sister...In support.    (((((hugs))))) smile



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Tattyhead


Senior Member

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Posts: 328
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I really don't know what to say that will help Tracy but taking, *borrowing*, stealing, money is all part of this dreadful disease. I have just paid off 2 substantial loans my late AH took out without me knowing but for which I am apparently responsible! He won't change so you have to work out whether or not he is worth pursuing. Would it be better to just write off the money and work on building your life anew? I am only speaking with the wisdom of my experience which will not be the same as the next person, so take what is useful and leave the rest.

Good Luck!

Tish xxx



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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> sorry need to get this out.