The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sorry been Away for awhile but Life seems to just Keep on Keepin On even if My feet Never seem to Hit the Floor... Same stuff Differant way, but I am Getting by the Best I can and with a Pretty Awesome HP helping me get over the Hurdles...
You know the More I looked at "ME" the Person, the More I Find there is Always Room for Improvement!!! Lately I have noticed things about myself that I do with out even having a thought about it... I just roll in conquer and before you know it the regret comes in and I can't never seem to put a Finger on what made me Go there... I am Slowly Learning to "Woo Up" the Crazy; and just kinda Glide instead of Suffacate... I have to say it is alot Nicer Place to be ;) Thanks to my HP & My Spiritual outlook ...
Today was No Differant then normal, run run run and Welp.... RUN Some More, Long day in the office, but got alot done, had a Few Snooty people call but also had some real sweethearts call as well, and that helped carry my thru the bumps... Seems HP paced them Just right ;0) After Work, Some wires got crossed, I almost ran out of gas in my truck, the pump wouldn't work at the gas station I was Running Late and Just when I thought I was going to Loose My Mind... I turned to HP for HOPE, & FAITH and As I Look Up I See a Rainbow that stretch the distance of the Sky, as Bright & Beautiful as All Get up... and it all rolled right off me... All the ICK just left because i could then See what HP was Trying to Show me...Slow & Stead.. "We Got this"
Its amazing to me the Calm a I can Feel when I am accepting of My HP, My Spiruallity has Grown & Blossomed so Much these last few months, and Now I have to start Tweeking on The Physical part again, and as My brother JerryF Mentioned, the Dark Tunnel has finally started to show some Great Light... AMAZING...
I decided to Plant my Own Pot of Gold tonight, so I Grabbed two of my Grandkids 7 & 5, and Just HAD FUN We had a Blast, We rode bikes, played in the mud, played with Trains, Got Dirty, played with blocks, Wrestled the Dogs and while I Made Supper they made a Mess :) So After Supper I Helped them make a bigger one...lol... After Supper was cleaned up, we decided we wanted Cake, and the 3 of us made an Wonderful cake, and I Let them do 90% of it, it is so much fun just watching them get so Excited about something as Simple as whos going to stir the batter, crack the eggs, iceing it, and They did it all ;0) Cake Crumbs and All...lol...
I mean These are the things I cherish, these are the moments that mean the world to me, the moments I can't get back once they are grown up and gone... My boy even Decided to give up his Only Night off and Hang with Mom as well, so It was just a Great Evenning, and I know if It had not been for this Program & My Faith in God above (As I understand Him), and my Great Faith I would have Plowed thru it as I have Many Many Millions of things before, not even stoppin long enough to realize what I Missed...
So once I Filled them up with Sugar from our cake, and danced some around the house, out of nowhere, they both come over and said, Grandma... Im ready for bed... That don't happen very often... Normally Grandma is Praying for a Nap and they are still on a sugar high..but grandma did Good tonight and wore them out first... it was Awesome...and they are sleeping like baby Angels :0)
I have really been sharing my Program with My Son too, I Want him to know Why I go to my meeting, and Why I have my Crazy bursts, and were they come from, what triggers them and what not because i don't want him to believe they are about him, I have been doing great tho with making my Amends right out of the gate, I stop, I think, and take time to respond, and thank Goodness he has been Very Patient with me :0)
Even My Husband is doing Alot better because of the change I have made, he is More accepting of my Program, My Friends, and My New adopted Family... Even after 15yrs, we are growing Stronger then ever before...He has Helped me see somethings that I Couldn't see about the Demands on me, and we can now speak about things that we would at one time avoid like the pleg, just so we wouldn't argue... He has been steppin up and helping me alot more with the running with our son... which is 6 days a week... Now I am OK with it, at 1st I lost track of My Program, My HP, and Myself.. Now, I See the Plan ahead, I can See that Light at the end of the tunnel... I can See the Work of My HP Daily, and I am Forever Grateful...
I have a Great Weekend ahead and it has just blossomed from the start of my Rainbow today, and Before I Snagged My Grandkids, it turned into a Double Rainbow :) My Neice is having her baby Shower on Sunday, and i Can't wait to spend that time with Family & Friends getting ready to invite another Little one Into My World ... OUR World... and I get to spend tomorrow with my Two Guys that I Adore, so I am Overly Excited to see where HP leads us in this Open weekend for a change... It feels nice sometimes to make plans that may even seem a little Selfish at times, But i have learned to Accept them as well, Something my Mind would not allow for so Long! Now I a Am Accepting, Thank you HP... :0)
Thank you all for Helping me get to a place of Much needed Peace... A Place i Can Grow & Learn about ME! And not Stress about others life, and stay focused on my own... It has lifted such a weight off me to allow others to be who they are and accept Me for what I Desire to be... And I know I can't get there at the flash of a Switch, but the Growing up and Growing Forward, has made it Well Worth the Journey to get here...
Love & Prayers to all
Thanks for Letting me Share... forever Grateful to be apart of such a Wonderful Fellowship and such Amazing Support... your all Awesome & I hope You Keep Coming back
It truly sounds as if you have learned the ART of living in the moment and having a "True Presence". Keep on "Focusing on Yourself", Looking at the awareness that comes to the surface as you stay within our own spirit and remembering to keep including HP. Your growth is a gift to all who share your journey.