The material presented
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I'm stuck on step 2 and 3... I'm not a real religious person I guess... I'm really not getting this higher power thing at all??? I mean I would like to hope that there is one!!! I guess I've never experienced anything like a higher power before... I really believe that anything "good" that has happened to me or any of my accomplishments I have made, I made them for myself and I worked my butt off for them.. Maybe I'm just not used to getting help with things??
Really though, I'm stuck... I was in treatment myself when I was very much younger and I didn't get this back then either... (sober for 12 years!) I mean I've prayed and prayed over the years and it seems that the only thing that happened was that enough time went by for me to heal or not heal on my own....???
Hi Kris I hear you and have felt the same for many years!!!
When I entered the rooms of alanon I was completely defeated-- none of my tools worked and my life was not going the way I wanted , No matter what I did it just did not work any longer.
I kept an open mind in the meetings and although I felt as you did about HP. I was able to work the first 3 steps.
Step One was easy I knew I was powerless, that my life had become unmanageable,. I could not surrender to my powerlessness unless I could feel that chaos would not ensue if I let go
I felt better in the alanon rooms than anywhere else so, For a Time I used the alanon tools and rooms as my Higher Power that enabled me to move to step 3 and turn my will and life over to the care of the Higher Power ( alanon tools and meetings)
Since that time oh so ling ago, I have truly found my Higher Power, have had a few very powerful spiritual experiences and it all started very humbly by using the program as my HP
O thank goodness!!! I didn't know it could be something as simple as our al anon tools!!! Because it says "God as you understand him" Because lately the tools or even readying posts on here are the only things that are getting me threw little by little... Wow thank you so much for replying!!!
The came to believe part of step two was a bit magical for me. I came into the program with a God that was more of the traditional form that was passed onto me through family religious practices. For me I knew there was something out there....but too busy to involved or active in my life.
Step II was a good one because it gave the opportunity to redesign a HP of my own understanding. I had to sit down and write out everything my HP is. I thought if I had a HP, what would that look like? My HP today is everything or He is nothing. I had to not only recreate a HP but begin to start a dialog with Him as suggested by my sponsor. One way I was able to see how is the HP showing up in my life is through writing gratitude lists. I could clearly see what is "right" with this picture of my life rather than wake up each day and see what is "wrong" with this picture. Just doing that exercise helped me see that there is a force, a power, some benelovent being out there that is for my greater good, not to harm me. When I got in touch with that source, the one I began to build that relationship with, I was able to make that third step decision.
Oh, I failed to mention in the beginning, my sponsor said if you don't believe in a HP, then you can borrow mine. That worked too until I could find one of my own.
For a few yrs in Al-Anon the higher power I chose was the people in the groups I attended , together they were more powerful than I was alone . some choose nature , dont forget the 4 little words that are so important in this program . God as we understood . we dont have to think like others do , we dont have to explain our higher power to anyone I have always been grateful that we do not discuss religion in our program .. some one suggested thinking of God as Good Orderly Direction which is what this program provided for me . For a few yrs because i believed in nothing all i could do was Let Go . All I need to remember is that there is a God and it isn't ME .
basically- for me- its combined- its your deep level intuition- but this is also helped along by your spirit guides/God/who ever he may be
now- am I way off????? as ive only been on the al anon board for a week LOL........ my spirit guides- are angels- (although they are quite normal- just people passed over but obviously more spiritually evolved......) and angels work for GOD..who is God? its not important for me at this point- whether its just one big mass of love that joins and forms an energy....or a man with a white beard......some things you cant understand...whats life? what happens when you die? how come some people can talk to spirits and some cant? how come that boy in INdia defied medical science and meditated for months with eating or drinking or lying down?? there are loads we cant understand
i think we have been to school since early age, we are taught that we need to learn about everything and understand it all.
some things require a blind faith.
what made you meet that certain person that time who ended up changing your life? do you really think it was a co-incidence? how comes when you were really at rck bottom and couldnt take any more time on your own that the phone rang and it was a friend?
doesnt it occur to you that we get some help in this?
I somewhat agree with Rosielee. And though I haven't been on this board more than a few days I believe that the higher power could refer to that part of you which guides you...your feelings, intuition, gut etc. I realized this little inside communication was what gave me the ability to get things done and get thru things. When I recognized and began to appreciate my "intuition" I then became aware of God. Just be willing to know your higher power and you will be shown clearly ..... Just my 2 cents.
