The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been awhile since I've been on the board and since my last post. I have missed my last two weekly F2F meetings, too. I did get the promotion at work and it has been a whirlwind! It's fantastic. And so demanding, but I love it.
But I feel guilty about the F2F meeting. The last one I attended, I just poured out my heart (first time I had even really spoken in a meeting). I wouldn't say it was all about me and my feelings, but the group did talk about the issues I raised like being angry and sarcastic towards my Afiance all the time.
Then I just skipped 2 meetings. I feel like maybe they think I just used them to talk about my problems. The next meeting is Wed night and I plan to attend. I know they will understand. It's a little later in the evening than I prefer and it makes me get home late. Excuses, excuses, I know.
Afiance is struggling still. Goes a few days sober, drinks again. The books and literature truly do help. And so does knowing that this wonderful board exists when I do need extra encouragement.
I had to write back and encourage you not to worry about the F2F meetings even for a second. You don't need to feel guilty or worry about what they think of you. That's part of what this group is all about - accepting with experience, love and support. It's great that you attended and were able to share. It can be so important to release all those pent up feelings and a F2F meeting is the perfect place for that. I have skipped several weeks at a time due to various things going on in life. I even had times where I thought to myself, I don't belong here, these people don't like me. I realized I made that up in my own head, no one else was thinking that and even if they did, I didn't need to care! I had to get over those defensive fears and keep going. That's okay. It's for each of us to know what is right for us and seek out supportive, accepting help to get healthy. It's wonderful that you're taking those steps for yourself. I'd sure encourage you to keep going!! You're worth it!!
I'm sooo glad you posted, don't feel guilty about not making the meetings. Yes they help of course however healing is not meant to induce feelings of guilt. We can only do what we can do, life does get in the way. I do hope you continue to make meetings again only you know what you can handle in your life.
Hugs P :)
PS - I wound up missing a weeks worth, there were just things in my life going on that I couldn't deal with everything, interestingly enough it was what I needed to make my next leap in healing. I don't look at it as meetings missed I see it as healing gained. :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I have been thinking about you and said to myself I just know you have been busy with your new job. WELCOME HOME my friend. I am so glad you are back.
I am so glad you are thinking about going to the meeting tonight. I am as well and am really looking forward to it. You just jump right in. I just know you will receive a warm welcome as if you never missed a beat.
So, keep checking in, we've missed you. Welcome back!
