The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been feeling pretty lonely lately. I thought I would dabble in dating!
I've gone back and forth on it. One minute I think I am too needy and next I think why not.
I've also been feeling kind of torn. Setting limits and bottom lines is hard stuff. After all I feel like I owe the world for being alive.
As many of you know there isn't much light in my life because I live around A's.
Naturally I would like the knight in shining armor stuff.
I have not got it of course because I know where that would lead me.
Nevertheless I'm willing so I have been dabling in online dating.
Screening, setting up dates with boundaries is real new to me.
To top it all I dont' have that much time because I work 7 days a week, so Saturday and Sunday nights are out right now (hopefully not for ever). There are some days I think
that I'm over the hill and past it. With the stress of a long commute and financial insecurity I put back on 10 lbs I lost. I dont' like that but I don't have enough tools to deal with frustration and more. So needless to say I dont' feel that attractive.
Rather than feel "light and easy" about the issue, I've been feeling that looking for someone online i a chore too.
Then today I get a "ping" from someone who's seen my picture and I can't believe what I'm seeing.
Some guy with a bunch of AK 47's. In every picture on his profile he has an AK47.
Now I can't do anything but giggle and laugh and its been a long long time since I giggled.
Who on earth would put such a picture on their profile!
That is hilarious! I've tried online dating too, with mixed success. Definitely I'd skip anyone whose profile featured lots of guns, beer or dead animals. One time I remember a guy contacting me and when I looked at his picture, he was standing near a pile of dead bobcats. No way! I also get a kick out of the pictures they'll take of themselves while shirtless in a bathroom mirror - too funny!
I am finally making peace with the fact I had no boundaries most of my life. Now I do. I can make better choices. I can do nothing about the fact I had none. That's done.
