The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welp... I have been Read Read Reading Here of Late and I have to say it has opened new Doors... I have been Reading the Story of Lois W.(One of the Founders of Al-Anon) . It is an Amazing story of her Life with Bill W. ... I Love to hear Quotes "From Her" and in her Quote/statements or comments she manages to carry such HOPE... And she Gives some Great ESH through out the book...
Resently I read about a "Daily Inventory" and I think i was Working so Hard at trying to Inventory My Entire Life in One Sitting, and it was VERY overwhelming... but her examples were a Huge Help to me, and then there was a part when she wrote (And i NEEDED to hear this)... The Most Critical Part of Doing an Inventory is: Focus on also... What I Do Right, and All the Good things I have in my Life...
I feel Alot of my Recovery got pushed aside due to personal issue, and not having a complete understanding of what I was/am Searching for in my recovery... Yeah, I of Course want to learn to live "Happy, Joyous & Free" and I can say that since the Program, I have found that More then Not... It is KEEPIN it that gets me all Unravelled... My Old "triggers" at times Keep me from having an Open Mind about My Own Recovery...
Another Statement in her Book was... "Codependency is an Obsessive Focus on what is Wrong, & What I Might be Doing Wrong- REAL OR IMAGINED... "
I have been thinkin Hard & Long on that one, and I have come to realize, that ALOT of the "Stinking Thinkin" that goes on in my mind, I can't Put Truth too.. It is Almost like I Imagined Myself this Horrible Person regardless of the Good that I do or Have Done... And If Someone would Criticize Me, Well my Mind said.. Well they HAVE To be Right or why would they say it... I'm so Grateful Now I can say: "What others think of Me is Really None of My Business"... it doesn't Stop My Stinkin Thinking, but it Does give me HOPE that Someday I will Grasp it Fully...
Recovery is one of the toughest things i have ever MADE Myself do, I was Pushed at first, but Grateful for it... I'm Coming up on 3 yrs and still Learning More & More everyday about Me, and My Inside Wounded Inner Child...
Here is a Couple Questions that Help me thru my Days, and Help me Look Harder at myself, and not Others... Hope you all get something from them as well... I Enjoy Reading & Answering them everyday, it helps me Stay Focused on Me! And Helps me see where I need to Pick up the Ball :) ...
What did I Do Right today?
Did I Behave Differantly today then I would have a year ago?
Did I Reach out to someone? & Allow myself to be Volnerable?
Did I have a Dad day? But Dealt effiectively with it?
Did I Practice Gratitude or Acceptance?
Did I Take a Risk?
Did I OWN My Power?
Did I Set a Boundry?
Did I Take Responsibility for Myself?
Did I take time to Pray Or Meditate?
Did I Trust My HP?
Did I Let someone do Something For ME? (This one I Still Struggle with..Don't know Why)
being a Child of an Alcoholic, and being Raised by a Codependant, it is Very Easy for Me to Tell you Everything I Did Wrong..I was Often Told of My Wrongs Growing up, and my Rights were Never accounted for... But I Do Struggle Alot with trying to see what I do right? This is just a couple things that Help me Get to a Place of My own Understanding, and keeps me out of the Middle of someone elses street...
Here is a Quote from Bill W During the Depression:
"Avoid trying to set your Whole Life in Order at Once. If you take on assignments so heavy that you are sure to fail in them at the monent, then you are allowing yourself to be tricked by your unconscious. Thus you will continue to make sure of your failure, and when it comes you will have another alibi for still more retreat into depression. In Short, the 'all or nothing' attitude is a most destructive one. it is best to begin with whatever the irreducible minimus of activity are. Then work for an enlargement of these-day by day" it ended with... When I'm Discouraged by setbacks, am I Willing to start Over?
This Spoke to me, and Hope All of you, Bill W. was one of the Founders of AA, His Wonderful Wife Lois W was a Founder of Al-Anon, Such Wisdom in their Fight to make this program What it is Today...
In Bills Quote, He Showed me what i have been doing wrong, I have been Trying since i got here to "Wipe the slate Clean" and that is the Impossible Dream for me currently till i can Slowly take what I Need Now and Deal with before I can Forgive my Past... I Need to find the Possitives in my life like Lois Mentioned and Not Keep ALL My Focus on the bad, or the bad I Imagined in my Mind...
So... Just for Today, I Will Go at It One day at a Time, baby Steps, Climbing the baby Hills Before taking on the Mountains... I Know I will Get there, but For Now, I plan to Start Small, and plan to be "Willing to start Over" at the sight of Setbacks and Disappointments, which are most of the time... "Life Happening" Out of My Control... For I Am Powerless over this Disease, but I am Not Powerless over My own Self Improvement... That is the direction My Life Needs to go... The Directions that Keeps me in Constant Contact with My HP... Too Whom I Choose to Call God... And Thank the Heavens above, My God, is A Loving God, Not a Judgemental, Negative one...
So Glad to be here in a Program that offers such Knowledge & Know how... Such Love & Support from People that Understand and have Stood where I Stand... Thanks for Letting me Share
Passing it on is part of how this recovery thingy works and I am very grateful that you have stopped by and do that Sis. Your recovery fits very well. ((((hugs))))
I am totally in awe of Bill W and Lois W. Funny thing is when I first got to the program I was nothing but critical of them. Now I think what achievements those two "flawed" human beings made. What a legacy.
I particularly the suggestion from Bill about not taking on too much. I want to fix my whole life right now!
Thanks again for your powerful message I love the questions you ask yourself daily!!!. Tome it sounded like a nightly 10th step keeping he day in focus and seeing how it went. I agree trying to right my entire life overnight did not work Doing a 10thstep each evening allowed me to have the courage to focus on myself, look at what I did objectively and then see who I was It is a powerful practice
Thanks Brother .. I'm Learning from the Best And In My Eyes, Your One of those :) Without your Support and of the many that have came to help me in Recovery, I am Forever Grateful ... Much Love & Respect to you always :)
(((((((((((((Maresie)))))))))))))))
I Love this Book of Lois's Life, its Funny I Read some and when she Quotes or Remarks I get out my Pen and Jot it down and See if it is somethinng I am Dealing with or Struggling with and Do my Best to "Test" it, or Put it to work, I admire both lois & bill for their Feats that still till this day HELP SOoooo Many People Find Recovery... I can see them Now On their Harley Traveling all over the US trying to put a Life together that they Both in the end Could Respect... Love it... Good stuff... And I Too have always Struggled with the "Get'r Done ASAP" Syndrome.... It is Kinda NIce now to Back away slowly and Wait on HP to Jump in and Stear... I'm Gettin better but still need the Wisdom & knowledge of all that came before me... Thanks for Being here ;)
(((((((((((((Betty))))))))))))))
WELP... Just so You Know Ms Betty... I do the "Welp" as often as I Can for YOU!! WELP...Just cause i know it makes you Smile Just the Way I am :)
BUT.. back to your Statement...lol... Yes the Question I just started Recently and they are a Great Help, never looked at them as a 10th step but yeppers I can see it being so... Helps me Stay on track and Focused in MY World.. And Out of others Space... I found recently since starting this, I am Starting to Like myself a Little.. :0) So it must be workin
Of Course I Just reread some of the questions and seen I made some errors..(Progress not profection :0) .I Like the One that Says "Did I have a Dad day" That was suppose to be a "Bad" day but I Guess 'Dad' Needed to be a part of it too, for HE Is what Got me here ;0) HP at Work Always in my Life... But Because I know Who My Afather was, I know his Humor in my Life will Never Let me down, He always knew how to make me smile... Kinda like when I had his Head Stone Put in and they Placed it at His Feet!!! Instead of Cring like a fool, I Sat on my hands and knees and Laughed till Tears Rolled down my face.... My Father had a Hand in that For Sure... He always Told me: "When I Die, Bury me upside down so the rest of the World and kiss My @ss"... Well I Did...lol... He is what Keeps my Program Strong, becuase I know he wants the best for me, even if he didn't have it to give me...
So... WELP.... I'm Going to Keep Coming back :) Because I NEED Each & Every one of you guys & gals... One Day at a Time ...
Prayers & Peace to all... Much Love & Respect always...
Codependency is an Obsessive Focus on what is Wrong, & What I Might be Doing Wrong- REAL OR IMAGINED... " I really liked this quote from Lois. I myself have not heard it before.
I also liked the questions you posted. Yesterday I had a lengthly prayer and meditation and found myself feeling so peaceful. In that meditation the thought of love came into my mind. I remember Lois Wilson saying something like this:
"I used to think the highest form of wisdom is knowledge. Now I know the highest form of wisdom is love"
She was one heck of a lady. Thanks for your thought provoking post today.
Wow, it is so nice to read all of this Jozie and the responses here. Amazing stuff. I so want to read her book Lois Remembers and I also believe there is a movie about them, but netflix doesn't have it yet... I will keep searching.
There was a pod cast that I listened to the other night and that woman has been in Alanon since 1968. Her name was Barbara. She said that when Alanon got started back then, they didn't have all the literature now and that the 12 in 12 was just a pamphlet. The people that started alanon sure did us all a great favor, and I am so glad to be here, :) I am so glad that those two people decided to do this for all the rest of us. Thank you for sharing this and giving me some more to think on today :) It keeps me in my spiritual place when I read such wonderful things :)
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
And In My Eyes, Your One of those :) Without your Support and of the many that have came to help me in Recovery, I am Forever Grateful ... 
Just the Way I am :) 