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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Where do I begin?
Post Info TOPIC: Where do I begin?
bjkansas


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Where do I begin?
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When I met my boyfriend, 2 years ago, I knew he drank.  He was 42 and I was 38. We got to gether in a relationship and his drinking calmed down considerably.  He used to be drunk EVERY night.  now it is maybe 3 times a week (still too much).  I have told him that he has done much better.  If I get on to him about how much he is drinking, he will drink more, deliberatly getting more drunk.  He gets mad at me because I say something like, "If  you drink that whole 6 pack tonight you wont have any left for tomorrow".  He said he would just get more.  we have a little financial difficulty because his paycheck has been short for lack of work and my paycheck is going to the rent.  So He is irritable about not being able to go out to the bar and play poker (where he will drink like 3-4 headaches of beer) this week because of no money.  Money is tight!  We can't afford that luxury right now.  So he drank is tall cans (6pack) tonight (7-10) and he kept asking me what was wrong.  I have been telling him for two days i am stressed. Finally I told him, I am so stressed, but unlike you, I can't drink away my stress now can I?  He turns around to go to the bedroom and says fine be a 'xxxx'.  I want us to be away from each other for a couple of days. I have stress at work and stress at home but all he is stressed over is not getting his beer.  *sigh*  I just want to cry!crydisbeliefdisbelief



-- Edited by canadianguy on Wednesday 31st of August 2011 10:41:09 AM

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Jerry F


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BJ...what worked for me was finding the hotline number to the Al-Anon Family Groups in the area that I was living and getting to the face to face meetings just a mile or so away. That became "me" time and it saved my life.  The hotline number is in the white pages of your local telephone book under Al-Anon.  Give it a call.  Maybe you'll get the same result after a time.   ((((hugs))))  Welcome to MIP and keep coming back here also.   smile



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MeTwo2


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To get away from him a little in my experience, means I need to First get away from him in my head .. then in my emotions .. then in my feelings .. the only way i can do this is to take a break from my thinking and replace it with the thinking of those around me in meetings and with those who share their experience, strength, & hope .. I need to refocus with a meeting or with an honest share and really try to listen to those sharing with me .. i'm not in the place i want to be in yet but in a sense I am .. I am in these rooms at this very moment tonight through my computer and reaching out .. try those meetings if you will .. this stuff will only work if we become willing to do what we can and then join that with higher power ..



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Debilyn


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welcome.

I know it is very frustrating. however its not like he is not getting his chocolate. he is addicted to alcohol. he is driven to use it. It is his first thought when he wakes up.

This is a serious disease hon, it is not personal at all. He cannot just quit, if he does quit it could make him very, ill to the point he could die.If he if gets so bad and wants to stop, he will need help,need detox.

It is very scarey. I hope you will read thru the posts here. you will see you are by far not the only one who feels like this and there are answers to help you thru Al anon. I hope you keep coming.

love,debilyn



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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Pushka


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Hugs and welcome,

I hope you will find a face to face meeting and go in your area. You've already gotten some great experience, hope and strength. You are not alone in this matter so many have walked in your shoes. It's not about him though in going to the meetings it's all about you. That is such a good thing.

Please keep coming back, reading, sharing, just keep coming back you do not have to be alone with the disease of alcoholism it's not a healthy way to live.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Ruby


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 After getting a good cry, it's ok to cry, for me the next right thing to do is to find an al-anon meeting to help you with this, I'm not sure where I would be if it hadn't been for my HP, God for me, leading me to this great program.  Keep coming back!  ..With love R.



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