The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have had my job for about eight months. It's my first full-time "grown-up" job. The schedule isn't great, and neither is the pay, but I like the people I work with and the company I work for. My manager has been giving me some leeway to adjust my schedule and make it more sleep-compatible, which I really appreciate.
I have come across another job, with (much) better pay, better hours, and better chances for advancing my career. And also great people to work with. It's not a sure thing yet, but I've had two interviews and the second one went really well, so it's time to start thinking hard about what I want to do.
...but I'm feeling guilty about thinking about leaving my current job. They're a small company, and me leaving would leave them short-handed for quite a while until they managed to hire and train someone else. And being told that I was the top performer two months in a row makes me feel really appreciated. And I'm really, REALLY grateful to my manager for the recent schedule changes, and don't want to seem ungrateful by leaving a few weeks/months after he agreed to them...
...I know that, to a business, employees are an investment/a source of revenue, and that it's normal for businesses that don't pay well to have a hard time keeping people... but at the same time, I still feel loyal to them, and would feel really bad about leaving because I feel like they've been nice to me, they need me, and I owe them. There goes my inner co-dependent again...
Any ESH you have to offer would be appreciated.
-- Edited by atheos on Tuesday 30th of August 2011 07:50:25 AM
It doesn't sound like you have to decide RIGHT this second although you are correct the decision is coming. How about just sitting with Buffy for a bit and seeing what comes to you?
You have every right to better yourself and to take that kind of risk, it is a risk. I'm not saying to jump ship I'm just saying guilt is guilt and there is nothing productive about stewing in guilt.
Take sometime work it out without "complicating" it and be with Buffy. You'll know what the right answer is for you. There is always the making of the list, what you like about your job and what the benefits are at the other job. What do you gain by leaving? How does that benefit you?
Hugs and good luck :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Maybe you could give your current job a chance of equaling the opportunities that you find in the new job? Let them know you are getting better hours and better pay. Maybe they will match them. If they really, really want to keep you, they will find a way to keep you. You will have given them a chance. They may also help you with your guilt.
Ok, maybe a little oversimplifying here, but how about a pros and cons list? I have used this many times before in considering employment options. What things are most important to you? Rate those things higher on the list. Just like Pushka says above.
Trust in yourself and your judgment. Whatever you do, it will be the right thing for you.
sometimes.... loyalty.. too much loyalty.. is part of our illness. Below is my opinion only.. not advice... but this is what I think and what I have done before
If you have been given an opportunity to better yourself, your situation, your career... go for it. Give your boss the heads up and an extended time before you leave to find someone else. Be so very grateful and thankful when you tell them. I find the bosses I have had inteh past have really appreciated me and are happy for me that I have found something that will harness my skills, my interests, and pay me more than they can.
I say, go for it. You are living your own life, not keeping their business afloat. If you get a new opportunity to improve, that opens the door for another person to take your place and perhaps find thier opportunity too.
I felt very bad about leaving a job once, I even cried at the thought, they had given me opportunities I didn't know were possible... when I told them I was going they said, "well this was always a stepping stone job" Time for someone else to step on that stone because I have taken the next step.
Eight years on and I am in my dream job, my pay has more than doubled and all the people I worked in that other job have moved on.
I wonder how you came across another job? Did you actively pursue it? Since you have gone to two interviews it is clear that you are interested.
I see your point, but I also see another angle to this. If your current company wants to keep long term people, it might be an idea to pay them what the standard wage expectations are for the position. It is wonderful that they provide recognition and it is important they do. Recognition doesn't pay the bills however nice it is.
I might let my current employer know about the new job if it is a go, and see if they want to match the new job. If they want to great, if not a new job awaits.
I do believe my hp has placed opportunities in my path and I did not listen. I allowed my sickness to hinder me.
You do not owe them, and they do not need you. Sorry to make that sound so bad. Everyone is replaceable in the workforce. I used to inflate my importance based upon my beliefs that they need me. I also used to feel bad thinking I owed people. Really I didn't owe them anything they provided me willingly, except gratitude. I don't have to stay in a position that sells me short to show gratitude.
