The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For a while I've been struggling with my weight. I've always been curvy but more than a year ago I had some hormonal problems and gained 20 pounds, and haven't been abe to shed them.
I was watching Dr. Oz a few weeks ago and he was talking about food addiction and those ladies sounded a lot like me. I'm so obssedes with food and weight that it is draining me. It's weird honestly, just because I'm used to being the "sane" one and put together person in the realtionship and know I feel out of control, and you all can understand that, for me, a good old control freak, its very hard to feel so out of it.
I told my mom how I was feeling and she said that indeed I should get help, but I'm ashamed cause people might think that I'm just making excuses as to why I'm fat and that I should jsu go on a diet and exercise. I don't know if dieting is as hard for other people as it is for me. I just feel like a failure for not being able to get my crap together and watch what I eat.
Could this be irony at its best? I'm the worst drinker so of course I had to become addicted to food.
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
You can do it Pris...I'm in support. I've got the same problem right now myself...Food is kinda sorta filling a obsessive, compulsive bent where I could do something else but do food. I'm not getting younger so shouldn't be getting heavier. (((hugs)))
I completely understand, Priscilla. I have been through treatment for eating disorders myself. I believe it's an addiction - and my addiction has given me so much more compassion for other addicts. It is not fun to obsess about something and to derive my self esteem based upon food. I've been there.
To get healthy, we have to focus on what is going on internally and leave whatever other people might think or not think with those other people. We make assumptions about what people are thinking and ya know what? They probably never thought about it at all because they're worrying about themselves and their own issues.
I just wanted to commend you for having the courage to speak about this. You may already have figured this out, but you are very much not alone. SO many people struggle with similar issues and don't speak about it.
My mother, for my entire life, has struggled with obesity. Food was celebrated in my home, and that was wonderful. However, my mother's anxiety and poor self-image made it difficult to learn how to celebrate me. When I was 15 years old, for many months, I struggled with anorexia. For about 8 years following this, I bounced back and forth between some form of too-thin and overweight/overeating. The crazy thing was that I have always had a thinner build and my father's fast metabolism. So, my perceptions of my body were very distorted - I was, in reality, afraid and unhappy in my life (my father was an alcoholic, my mother had a number of other issues).
In my undergratuate education, I wrote a paper on eating disorders, and I remember still that it takes an average of 7 years to heal, once you admit the problem and get help. Even then, the mentality often lingers. Body image issues are rampant in our society, as we are a society much without balance. This is not your fault!
I agree that the issues have a lot to do with control. The fact that you are here, and aware is a wonderful start. My belief is that you will truly need to heal from the inside out - and learn again how to love yourself!
People can say/think what they like. How many of them are actually doing something about THEIR issues? You will be the one to feel good in the end - so, lucky you!
Blessings,
KLotus
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"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."
Thank sooo much for your words of support and your advice. I'm setting up an appointment with a psychologist and face this head on. I told my husband about it and felt a bit ashamed about losing control over food but the more I think about how much my selfworth its tied to my weight I know I'm don't have a healthy approach to food. Thanks for being here. I love you all.
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
