i need help - Al-Anon Family Group

winnie · Member

i need help

freeagain · Veteran Member

(((((((((((((winnie))))))))))))))))

You do need help and you came to the right place. The first thing I would sugesst is to breathe. Nothing will get accomplished with you being out of your mind with anger and fear. If you can, try to look at your hands, see what they are doing. Look at your feet, see where they are. I know it sounds lame but honestly it works to curb a panick attack or an attack of anger.

There is not one darn thing you can do about his drinking. Not a darn thing. BUT, YOU can feel better. YOU can NOT go crazy. YOU can get back to enjoying yOUR life wether he is drinking or not. I promise if you just keep coming back, go to face to face meetings, work the steps, get a sponser I absolutely promise you will regain the self that you have lost to this nasty disease.

There is hope and love here and in the f2f rooms of alanon. All you have to do is get thru the next minute, then the next and the next...breathe, focus on you. It is going to be ok.

RLC · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP winnie. I'm glad you found us.

I understand missing the person you fell in love with. For me sometimes the woman I fell in love is present and sometimes the disease is present. When you live with an active alcoholic you never know which one your going to get.

Your feelings are not unnormal. The disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Without help it's to much for most of us. Empty promises are part of the disease. We become frustrated, angry, and sick and tired of being sick and tired. We keep doing the same things over and over and getting the same results. Nothing works, we are powerless....our lives have become unmanageable. We need recovery from the effect the disease has had on us.

You made a big step in your recovery by coming here tonight. Take the next step and find an Al-Anon meeting in your area. You will be around other member who will understand and support you. I have been where you are, and in the rooms of Al-Anon I found the help I needed to make my life better. This program works. You have all to gain and nothing to lose. You need and deserve what the program offers.

MY experience, strength, and hope to you is to start your recovery, keep coming back and posting, read prior posts on MIP, find and start attending meetings in your area. Your life "will" get better.

Your not alone anymore.

HUGS,
RLC

-- Edited by RLC on Thursday 25th of August 2011 11:36:37 PM

rrib · Senior Member

Hi and welcome. Your in the right place to begin helping yourself.

This on-line group is a great place to start. Here is the link to the main Al-Anon site which has links to find local face to face meetings in your area http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/home

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

Winnie,

Welcome to MIP, you are in the right place. There are so many of us here including myself that have been where you are as a newcomer. Although there is pain, I can assure you there is hope too. Please stick around and get to know us awhile. We are here for you in love and support.

Best,

Tommye

pineapple · ~*Service Worker*~

(((winnie,))) Welcome to MIP. We all know that helpless feeling. I was feeling angry, tired, helpless and hopeless living with my A . Like you, I did an online search looking for some help. Which brought me to this place. And my life is much better today because of it. There is help and you're on your way to it by coming here. You can learn a lot from reading the other posts and replys here. There are also online meetings here twice a day. Please keep coming back.

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome ((((Winnie))))

I am so glad you found our MIP family.

Jen

youfoundme · ~*Service Worker*~

It was suggested to me when I first came to this board to try out 6 meetings in a row of real time face to face alanon meetings. It was also suggested to read the alanon literature, find a sponsor and begin on the steps. This board has helped me so very much and so have the meetings. You didn't cause him to drink, you can't cure him and you can't control his drinking. This program works when you work it. Take care of you. Hope you find a meeting soon!
HUGS!

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Winnie and welcome !

You are in the right place. Most of us wait for our A (alcoholic/addict) to hit bottom and seek help and keep trying the same things over and over, making ultimatums we aren't ready to follow thru with etc hoping they will see the light.
Most of us got here by hitting our own bottom ( sometimes more than once) and just living our lives become a matter of plain survival.
Please find alanon meetings in you area and start attending and working our program. I will change your life forever even if your A never changes. But in some cases our own recovery aides in the recovery of others.
We also have meetings here online in our chat room and when meeting is not in progress the room is open for chat 24/7 so you can go in there any time you need extra support. There is much wisdom here on this message board and in our chat room so pls take advantage of all of it.
I know how hard it is right now just trying to understand just how alanon can work for you but stick around, keep posting, get to meetings and I promise you, your miracle is out there just waiting for you to grab it.
Blessings and hope to see more of you often !

Hot Chicka · Veteran Member

Hey Winnie.

I dumped out alcohol. I counted empties, and marked bottles. I watched the clock. I smelled his breath. I even kept a calendar and marked down how often he drank, or drove drunk for 2 full years. I tried to plan fun things for us to do, so he'd choose me over the bottle. All it did was delay the binge for a few hours, or a day at most.

All this did was make me REALLY REALLY crazy.

Then I learned about AlAnon, and after I said "Let Go and Let God" about 1,000 times, a miracle happened......... I was able to let go, and hand this problem over to someone else to worry about. Someone that has a whole lot more power than I have :)

Since then, I think a lot about the 3 C's. I didn't CAUSE it, I cant CONTROL it, and I'm surely not going to be the one to CURE it.

I don't know what my future is going to hold, but I can say that I am more at peace right now than i have been in over 10 years. I am working on me. I am changing me. And that is all I can do.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.