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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> What to do when finding "hidden alcohol"
Post Info TOPIC: What to do when finding "hidden alcohol"
Hoping for Happiness


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What to do when finding "hidden alcohol"
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I am doing my best at working my own recovery and not my AH's (most days).  However, I have one thing that I am not sure how to handle.  We have 2 small children (6 and 2) and I continue to find hidden bottles of vodka.  I don't want to pour them out and move on, because they aren't my bottles to pour out.  So I have been giving them to him when I find them (without yelling and screaming).  I just say "Here I found this, I do believe it is yours" and I walk away.  Today my 6 year old brought me a half full bottle and said what is this?  I told her to give it to her father.  I also praised her for bringing it to me as opposed to drinking it and told her if that happens again to bring it to me and we will give it to her father.  The bottles that I find are rarely empty and I am concerned the kids will drink out of them (especially my very curious 2 year old) so I can't just leave them sitting where they are or within reach of the kids.



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Debilyn


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Well since we cannot control it, and you choose to live with him, then I would have one locked cubboard to put it in.Not saying anything, nor would I give it to him and walk away.

If you want to set a boundary, maybe one that makes it clear. "the kids are finding vodka bottles part way full. If they are continued to be found, I am dumping them.If you put them in this locked cubboard, that is your business."

Myself I chose to not live with him with my babies. For me and mine it was the best choice.

Hugs! debilyn



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GailMichelle


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I'd do whatever I thought was best to protect my little ones.



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rrib


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Personnally, I do not allow alcohol in my house. Or drugs.

Sometimes this makes family members who are still using angry. Oh well!



-- Edited by rrib on Monday 22nd of August 2011 12:37:24 PM

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pinkchip


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I think your boundaries sound good with the exception of your concerns about the 2 year old. Your response with the 6 year old was really good but I am wondering if a firmer boundary needs to be set in place due to the good point you made about the 2 year old drinking from the bottle without knowing. The cabinet boundary might be necessary. Again, it would be to set the boundary without being over emotional (like the same as how you approached him when finding the bottles).

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youfoundme


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I choose to live with my active A... I made firm boundaries that I don't want him drinking when I am not home if he is home with the kids during the day and if he did I would ask him to leave. That wasn't an ultimatum it just was a boundary for me and the kids. He has been adhering to my boundary. So maybe a good boundary for you would be to say, "Listen, for the safety of the children, please leave your bottles in our room with the door closed (or high cabinet, or whatever). If you do not, I will have to ______" and stick to it. I was ready to have my A leave if he didn't stick to my boundary. I told him if he drank around the kids during the day, that he would be leaving. He knew I meant it. I didn't say it mean, I meant what I said though. Do you have a sponsor? I call mine with questions like this because she knows the whole story and can help me discern the best way to say things...
HUGS!


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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> What to do when finding "hidden alcohol"