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What an Emotional Roller Coaster this Week has been, I Know all things happen for a Reason, and I do Believe for every Bad thing there is Something wonderful to follow, but WOW ... What a Week....
Started the week with a Sister in ICU who is Still there, but doing Some Better Thank Goodness, but told will be there for some time due to her being on a feeding tube and having so much going on, plus she has a 3 month old that is being passed around from house to house because she don't have much help, nor does she even know were or what is going on she has to be so sudated... Then after a Tough Morning, I Get a Phone call from a Very Dear Sweet Friend of Mine, that Today... lost her Only Son to Addiction... I Just don't know if God is Testing me or my program but I do believe I am Failing at a Huge Rate...But I'm Still Trying...
I know he is Working tho...Now this Friend is Not In a Program, but Knows that I am...I have only known her for about 5 years, and we have become very close, but we spoke often of her sons addictions, which started after he had a Bad Car accident and the doctors prescribed him Oxy-Cotton's and it has been down hill from there on out, he begin Drinking Heavily and taking anything & everything to Kill his pain, He told her of course that he was getting in to treatment and going to turn it all around... AGAIN..about 6months ago, she lives in another state... My Heart just Deeply hurts for her, and there is nothing I can do, but Pray...
She Called me because she said "I" Would Understand...Do I? Do I Understand Why a Young Man with So Much In front of him would Hang Himself and Allow his 80+ Grandma to find him! I Can't say I Do... I Just Don't ... Do I Know that he was an Addict that was Sick in Disease, Sure! Do I know that this Disease Claims Many Lives to soon? Sure! But No, I Don't understand... But I Can Listen...
Then As I'm sitting here feeling Helpless... The 'Ups' Man Arrives with my New "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics" ... Now whats the Odds, that I Ordered Extra When I Ordered it because I wanted to Pass Some On, and I LOVE that it is Smaller & Paper Back...
So... Is this HP Knockin on the Door saying, You just found who to give your 1st book too.... I don't know...
Tonight is suppose to be my high school reunion, and I have been looking forward to it for awhile now, and Welp, the Fun Bubble is slowly slippin away as the day teeters on, seems one thing after another just keeps plumbitting down... Now I'm Asking Myself, do I want to really go hang out with a room full of people Drinking or go hide somewere away from everyone... BUT... I'm Going to be put my Big Girl Pantys on And Charge Ahead, and Pray that HP Has the Wheel & a Plan... For I AM POWERLESS....and wore out!
Insanity at its Finest these last couple days, there have been Great Moments Don't get me Wrong, but the Roller Coaster Going Down, is Definately hitting Dirt, but I'm Still Trying to Reach for the Clouds... Strugglin but Keeping the Faith that this is all happening in order to make room for something Wonderful ...
I hope you attend your reunion it will help to lighten the load a little today , if too much drinking you can always excuse yourself and leave early .. Enjoy !!!!
I am so sorry for the dreadful loss that you and your friend has known this week. I know that your just being there and listening was enough Addiction is a killer and it is very hard loss.
HP does work in mysterious ways His wonders to perform so that I believe that your UPS delivery is no coincidence. All things do work together for the good for those who trust HP.
Remember life must be lived going forward and can be understood in retrospect.
I agree with Abby You have had a heavy load and been there for everyone now it is time to take care of you. Attend the reunion and be gentle with yourself If it is too much leave.
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 19th of August 2011 07:37:53 PM
Love the new 5$ edition of the How Alanon Works :) So sorry that your friend is going through just a rough time. I can't, God can and I'll let Him. It always goes back to the beginning.
Enjoy the reunion (I'm voting you go :)) It's such a good thing to do something for yourself especially since you were so excited about it to begin with.
Hope you have a take care of you weekend,
P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I Did Make the Reunion, and It was a Great time, and A Wonderful Distractions... I do Believe I was the ONLY one there Not Drinking, but it wasn't forced or even ask of me, so that was nice too, Seeing as how "Back in the Day" I would have been the 1st one to the Bar... So Grateful I am No Longer that Person, and Still managed to have a Great time... It was also Nice that i Stayed out past 1am and still didn't Feel bad the Next day...lol... Again All New to me!
The Next Day I Packed up my Dogs, and Family & headed to the river, and just relaxed & Continued Prayers for my Friends Loss, and My Sister in the Hospital...My Sis Is Starting to come around some, they have her sitting up now, and took her off some of the stronger drugs, so she is a little more alert, and Up for Company, before she didn't know Anyone was there..They still have her in ICU but with plans that she will be going to a regular room when they are sure the infection is no longer going to in danger her... So God is doing his work, and I'm doing mine by keeping the prayers at a stead Pace...
I know that all this is Out of my Hands, and Only God can heal the broken hearts that were crushed at the loss of this young man, but I just feel so deeply for his mom for he was her only Child, and she tryed so hard to save him, knowing in her heart it wasn't her job to do... She is a Sweetheart, and I Wouldn't wish such a thing on Any Human being, Just breaks my heart to know, that her loss is so Great... Sometimes the Words are just hard to speak when we talk now, but I just keep praying God gives my Mouth what is meant from my heart...
Thanks again for all the Thoughts & Prayers , I am Most Grateful I have such a place of Peace to come to when Life it self seems to be too much... Forever Grateful
