The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm somewhat shocked. Wait, more than somewhat. It's more like struck by lightning, but not as "fry your flesh"-ey.
I've been giving all of this my all. The advice, the steps, the traditions. . . slowly (As slowly and thoughtfully as I can).
I've just been given a glimmer of hope, I think, that there may be a chance at my marriage working out. It's like getting 2 lottery numbers -- not a jackpot, no cash at all, but kinda neat and I'll take what I can get.
My A wife just let me know she'll go talk to a psychologist!
She won't admit she has any problem, that's fine. She won't even discuss the possibility of alcoholism, that's fine. That she actually agreed to go talk to someone has me crying. I'm not getting my hopes up, but it's a refreshing change.
Background: I'd set the boundary that I would not live another day/hour/minute/second in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship with an active alcoholic. Consequently, I left. I haven't gone home in weeks. I'm getting help for my issues. I'm sticking to my guns. I'm taking care of me.
She was texting me such things as: "obviously, you only left to hurt me" and "ur a control freak in denial cuz u wont come home", "I know ur seeing someone thats why you want a divorce", "I've got the papers. I'm gonna file 1st and take u for everything" . Etc, etc, etc.
My only response was, "I'm not in a position right now to decide one way or another on divorce. The only thing I've decided at this point is to get healthy. What I'm seeing is that you appear more willing to file than even consider you may need some help."
Several hours went by with my phone on silent. I didn't read what she was sending, didn't care (OK, fine. I pretended not to care). When I just looked, after a slew of not-so-nice things was the shocker, "fine. I'll go talk to a shrink, but only to tell him all about you"
I'm just thinking, "PERFECT! Tell them everything about me. Tell them anything you want! Just GO."
It sounds as if you are very realistic about the possibilities, and also that you are deservedly enjoying the fruits of sticking to your boundaries! Way to go! Wishing you continued joy in your recovery!
Maybe the shrink with allow her to take the assessment...the 44 question one that if she gets 3 yesses there's a problem. Maybe also she might go talk to a recovering alcoholic and then maybe not. HP has her and you and the psyc. Just asked for HP's attention on the matter. (((hugs)))
