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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> LET GO AND LET GOD OR HELP?
Post Info TOPIC: LET GO AND LET GOD OR HELP?
Anne01


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LET GO AND LET GOD OR HELP?
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blankstare My issue now is I have a 43 year old brother who is in rehab for the 3rd or 4th time, has 9 DUI's, running from police, been tasered x2, driving while license suspended, etc.  He wants to come stay with me til he is able to get his own place. My heart sank when he asked me this. Even though I let him do this 2 or 3 times before, I don't want to do it now. My daughter is very much against it, she is 32, a nurse, and she is upset because the very people that help her do her job, and protect her as a paramedic and nurse are the ones who are tasering my brother. I told my brother no this time, that's the first time I did that. Was I right or wrong?



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abbyal


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You have extended your hand before so you have done your part . Its time to Let go and Let God , only when we step aside can God get at him  .. just my opinion . I always forgot that the alcoholic had a Higher Power too and would take him where he needed to go .  Louise



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Debilyn


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Nothing changes if nothing changes. A person needs to learn for themselves. This is  a person meeting middle age! When is he going to learn if people take him in?He is using others, that is what they do.

He needs a huge reality jolt. Let him figure it out! When we baby them,they never grow up,never get strong enough to want to change their life, or never get sick enough to.

You did your part. You gave chances before. You raised a very wise daughter!

You can do nothing for him. He needs to take care of himself,walk into AA and face his disease. We make it worse when we allow their disease to suck us dry.

Think of YOU. Take care of YOU. Enjoy your life. Don't allow the disease to change your course to being sicker than he is.

Sending"you" lots of love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

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Otie


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Dear Anne01, I remember your post about this from before.  I have been in your same delimma with the As in my life.  I can tell you that it is the "guilt" eating at you.  IGNORE IT!

If you don't ignore the false guilt and give in---you will pay the price---NOT HIM.  He will move on to the next situation until he hits his bottom.

I know, it is tough.

In support, Otie



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tommyecat


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Anne,

You already have received strong suggestions on your topic.  I just want to extend my hand to support you in any decision you make.

Best,

Tommye



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Pushka


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Hugs, I'm right there with tommy sending you love and support during this time. hugs, P ;)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
hawaiilover


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I am also in support. Hang in there and don't give in. Hawaii



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youfoundme


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IN support. Keep coming and use your alanon tools :)

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Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
canadianguy


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Not sure if I am qualified to judge "right or wrong", but I do believe that you did what you felt, in your recovery, what YOU needed to do.... 

"He will either drink (or ask for soft landings, or get tasered, or keep up his addiction) or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

 

To me, you are choosing recovery, for YOU, and that is never a bad thing.

 

Take care

Tom



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

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plsellars


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You did what you thought and felt was the right thing to do. If you feel in your heart this is what you must do, then you cant be wrong. He will have to stand on his own two feet sooner or later and look even in baseball Three Strikes your out. Good luck and God Bless.
Lee

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Lee
sookie


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I am VERY proud of you!! Too many times I did NOT listen to my gut when it came to my alcoholic and wound up very regretful, sad, mad, and so on. Sounds like you followed your instincts and that's the best anyone can do.

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> LET GO AND LET GOD OR HELP?