The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes I don't feel like I make any sense at all! The words don't come out right & I just feel very frustrated by it all. I don't know if it is age, exhaustion or mental difficulties. I have been known to hit my head quite often. I have bad vision & don't always realize that my head is closer to some objects. I have been paying closer attention to what I am doing so I won't hit my head as often.
Other than that, I am doing pretty good. My past mistakes(recent) haven't been getting me down as much lately. I still have guilt because I hurt my sister. She seems that she might be over it, but I still feel horrible. I can't forget the things I have done. I go to counseling 2 times a month but it sometimes seems like not enough.
Maybe my current situation is because of all the times I have hit my head. I even hit my head when I went to sit down on the plane. Right now I feel a headache coming on. It must be time to quit!
I hope everyone that reads this will sympathize w/ me. I need a shoulder even if it is long distance.
You sister has forgiven you as you indicate, HP has forgiven you, you only have to forgive yourself. We at times hold resentments against others and also hold resentments against ourselves. Hoot I've read to many of your posts not to know you are a good person. Good people make mistakes, good people say and do things they regret, but good people must forgive themselves as they have forgiven others. Even HP can't change the past, but he forgives us for the past.
Let go and let God, start taking care of Hoot, she deserves it !!
Hey Hoot, I know it hurts, but good for you for leaning on everyones' shoulders. Sometimes just saying things out loud help with the healing. The lesson you learn is to not do it again and to remember the pain you brought to yourself by your actions.
I have large shoulders you can have a loan of. (I am a BIG girl)
I would just like to put my 'health ESH' hat on for a moment. I am a Nurse but I also have an illness called Pernicious Anaemia. It is a deficiency of B12.
I used to hit myhead alot, walk into the wood around the door frame, drop things, have memory lapses, headaches ALL the time, and blurred vision. Unfortunately for me it manifests in mental illhealth also and I feel more paranoid, unable to sleep properly, depressed etc when I am nearing time for my medication which consists of 6 weekly injections for me.
I became extremely ill.
It is more common than people think it is.
I guess what I am trying to say (I can never be succinct can I), my alert light up reading your post, I am not sure how old you are, but B12 is depleted as we 'mature' and is common in people over 60is. Mine is a disease process so a little different, I am 40 and was diagnosed 3 years ago.
Have a search on google and see the symptoms, and if you can (I know the health care system is very different in America), see if you can get a blood test to check your B12 given the bumps on the head, headaches and vision.
I may be wrong an excuse me if I have overstepped the mark here.
I am always blowing the trumpet for pernicious anaemia as it is so often misdiagnosed as things such as depression, Multiple Sclerosis, Dementia etc.
Oh and you will have to Americanise the spelling of anaemia also.
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Aw I hope you feel better! Like pp said about her condition and red flags going up because of the similar symptoms- mine also went up.. But for a different condition! Lol I guess everyone that's had intimate contact with any uncommon condition sees it everywhere in other peoples symptoms ( I guess it's like noticing how many other people have the same kind of car you do the day after you bought it?). My mom had many of the symptoms you described and was diagnosed with Arnold Chiari Malformation- which is basically just your brain "falling" down into your spinal cord- causes all kinds of issues with balance and headaches- it's also very common and goes misdiagnosed as migraines or MS. Not trying to turn you into a hypochondriac or anything ;) just wanted to point it out in case maybe it helps- I googled all of my moms symptoms before she was "properly" diagnosed- and found out about Chiari - I was actually the one who told her doctor to give her the MRI to check for it. You shoulda seen his face when he came back and told me I was right after he had tried to tell me I didn't know what I was talking about and to let him do the diagnosing ! LOLOL priceless! ;)
Anyway, sorry to hijack your post- back to my original thought- Feel better soon! :)
Oh and the feeling like u dont make any sense or your mouth is saying something different than what you intended to say is a symptom of chiari too- my mom says funny things all the time- or she'll know what word she WANTS to say but can't remember what it is- she says stuff backwards too - even tho she meant to say it the right way it comes out flipped. Like "butter the pass" instead of pass the butter. Sometimes SHE doesn't even know what she's trying to say - good thing our fam has a twisted sense of humor - even she gets a good laugh with what comes out of her mouth sometimes :)
