The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Program is. Friday a usual day off for my wife because her hours were cut back a year ago because of the financial meltdown; however she told me she had an afternoon "business meeting" with the hotel she does the books for and that causes me to "flip" the program switch on and to go do my own work, what little there is of it left...for today of course. I didn't loose any business as we thought might happen and I gained some for at least a longer period of time soooo my program cycled to gratitude and she left for the meeting. My focus wandered just a few "what if" times and I could hear my elder sponsor teaching, "Jerry F if you want to keep balance...each time you what if you have to what if not." I've been blessed with some powerful sponsors. She comes home later and I'm resting and offers a description of the "business meeting"; an announcement that more than likely there will be additional cut backs including hours of work and those who will be affected will be told later next week as to who and how much. "What if...What if not".
So I get to praying and examining "...the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Currently we are in mortgage modification and its been a real black and white definition of insanity...Fussin around without a straight response; the stuff of analyst benches. Now I'm deciding to call them on Monday and say hold the show cause the script is getting worse and I don't know how much so... We will definitely miss payments...never ever have done that before ever...strange music to dance to.
So what do I do? Continue with what is right in front of me and when I am not there park my butt squarely in the palms of my HP and wait for the next indicated thing to be whispered or loudly mentioned (I'm double bionic; both ears are disabled). Did some good time with family before coming home to MIP and reading and listening and picking up practice tips. I can use all the practice tips laying around out there.
I've got stuff to work on especially now...A. Assertiveness...this is not the time for people pleasing...we need to be up around the head of the line somewhere. B. Dilligence, as I said no procrastination. C. Other plans of possibility without excuses because this is about more than just survival.
So I'm taking any extra courage and strength you have laying around that you don't need for the moment and of course prayers in any language from any believe that have worked for you. Wishing you all the best of whatever HP can and would give all of those HP loves. (((((hugs)))))
I was just passing on this to another dear friend of mine in the program. Perhaps there are no coincidences.
When I feel like my back is against the wall and the ceiling is coming down I say the following out loud:
"Good morning God! There is nothing that will happen to me today that you can't take care of. Or, there is nothing that someone could do to me today that you cant take care of."
I restart my day and say it out loud because I need to get out of my head breaking free from the cycle of fear and get back into my heart where I have faith, hope and trust that my HP has my best interest in mind.
There is a lesson and a blessing in every event that comes into our lives. The key for me has always been to go to my HP and ask what are you trying to teach me? Sometimes the answer that comes is: Fully Rely On God, or F.R.O.G. So, I lean into Him a little more, trusting one moment at a time, one day at a time that He's got my back and this too shall pass.
Dear Jerry F, last year I went through several months of pure hell, after my husband died, of mortgage modification. I understand how you feel---it is maddening.
If you wish, you can p.m. me privately regarding this---maybe I can give some pointers. The discussion would be too detailed and just not the right place here on the board.
You work such a strong program of faith and diligence, I just wanted to say I'm sending you my support and hugs during this difficult time. Thank you for your share :)
Hugs again P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Assertiveness, dillegence, openness, you cant fail. Works in all aspects of our life.
Other people who want to exert their own will on us dont like assertive people. I notice friends I have had for a very long time, now call me mean, because I assert myself, Im not the same go with the flow Betty they knew and could manipulate.
As a matter of fact today I was taking a survey of all my "friends" and decided I need to add some new ones, because as we grow and learn about ourselves , it reflects in our enviornment.
I am grateful for Alanon and my Buddhist practice, they so compliment eachother. I am grateful for Jerry, who sparks a light !!! Hugs, to you !!!
Samsgram what I would say to you would be to turn it over to your HP -and- do it with a bowl of Tin Roof Sundae ice cream. That's what I just did and it works when you work it. Tin Roof Sundae with all of that marbleized fudge and chocolate covered peanuts and just one spoon....mmmmm not gonna bother God while doing this. Its Sundae...Sunday here in paradise and I've got to wait and some other stuff to do also that can be done. God's got it and the freezer is off limits now.
Thanks for all of the support cause I just cannot do this alone...ever. (((((hugs)))))
Sending Much Love & Support your Way With a Dish of Prayers & Tin Roof Sundae which I have to add is ALSO My Favoritest Ice Cream Ever!!! lol.. You Give me anything with Chocolate covered Peanuts & its a Party Yet another of Nitches I Can't seem to let go! ...lol...
My Husband & I Run our own Small Business & these last couple months have been very trying as well... I have handed it to HP many times and of course tryed taking it back more then not as well ;( but I know that regardless of what is laid before us, we will Find a way to survive it, and I am grateful just to have any work at all! This Program has Def. helped my stress level when it comes to knowing what I Can & Can not Control! And i have def learned it only Works if I work it!
Glad your Here brother & You Fooo Shoooow Have my Prayers & Love Sent to you Daily from the East Coast
Yet another of Nitches I Can't seem to let go! ...lol... 
